board certification

Joint Commission to Offer Board Certification

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OHIO – The Joint Commission announced today the creation of a pathway to board certification in Joint Commission rules and inspection practices.  “We are excited to offer a new qualification to those who seek more letters after their name, than in their name… Oh and by the way it’s Doctor Eldrige, I didn’t spend 6 months earning my PhD in Nursing Simulation Education for nothing,” Phyllis Eldrige joked while speaking with GomerBlog.

board certificationShe continued: “Our focus is to recognize those individuals who seek to enhance patient safety through the creation of regulations based on something less-boring than science… it’s just too dry.”

The Joint Commission Board Certification, or JCBC, is intended to assist those who want authority to make decisions, without all the pesky hardwork of medical school and residency.  Certification requires at least 5 years non-clinical experience (strictly away from any kind of patient care) while claiming to still be a clinician or nurse, a penchant for treating flimsy opinion as fact, and a willingness to create new ways to interfere in patient care.

In related news, a spokesman for the ACPaGCWIND, the Association to Confuse Patients and Give Credit Where It’s Not Due, lauded the creation of the JCBC, saying, “Now everyone will be able to say they are board certified too, and the patients won’t know any better!  The number of ‘doctors’ bringing their white coats in for re-embroidery is through the roof!”

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  • Avatar
    Jennifer Simoneau

    I am waiting for my certification of certification certificate.

  • Avatar
    Scott Greenberg

    DNP rings a bell, sometimes the truth is satire

  • Avatar
    Ted Thompson

    Ahhh,,ummmmm, I was under the impression this was how it had always been done…..

  • Avatar
    Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    What James Herbert said…..ditto! I thought this was SATIRE? SMH.

  • Avatar
    Dena Bryant Dietzler

    I know some “board certified” people. Ha ha,Jen Jen Mark Ferguson!

  • Avatar
    Jen Mark Ferguson

    Dena – funny!

  • Avatar
    James Herbert

    Shame on you gomerblog! This is not satire. This is factual reporting. Please stay away from accuracy and facts and get back to funny. Oh, the humanity.

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth Svoboda

    You sure this is satire?

  • Avatar
    Sarah Kohrmann

    Buuuurrrnnnn!

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