turkey in code cart

Emergency Code Carts Now Contain Turkey Sandwiches and Ginger Ale

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SAN DIEGO, CA – According to hospital administrators, Code Blue carts are now being outfitted to meet a new and growing medical emergency.  Effective Jan. 1, 2015, Drawer 2 in all Code Blue carts at Sunshine Community Hospital will contain freshly-made turkey sandwiches and mini ginger ales.

turkey in code cart“Medical emergencies have really changed over the past 20 years,” said hospital administrator Jeremy Brighton.  “Today’s real and more frequent emergencies in the ED and on the floors deal with irate hungry patients.  We like to call it a Code Hangry around here.  If a patient is hungry or thirsty, they might fill out a negative patient satisfaction survey.  That, my friends, would be worse than an actual death.”

Drawer 1 will still contain normal ACLS drugs such as epinephrine, vasopressin, and amiodarone.  Instead of overrated airway equipment, Drawer 2 will now contain mini ginger ale cans and at least 4 freshly-made sandwiches.  Two of the sandwiches need to be turkey sandwiches to be used as a first-round agent.  After the first round of hunger resuscitation has been performed, ham and roast beef sandwiches can be used as alternative treatment modalities.

Sandwiches are required to have stickers placed on Saran wrap with the date and time.  According to the Joint Commission, writing the date and time with a Sharpie directly on the Saran wrap will be forbidden as it must be written on a white label.   Sandwiches will expire 24 hours after preparation, and will need to be replaced in the code cart.  The sandwiches will be wrapped in such a way that nurses will be able to open and unwrap the sandwich in less than 3 seconds in order to administer them quickly to patients.

Ginger ale must be in mini-sized cans in order for the drawer to close, and must be delivered via a 5 mm 12-inch straw with a flexible end within seconds of administering a sandwich.

“We are excited about bringing these new life saving adjuncts to our medical teams,” stated Brighton.  “Next on our list is to mandate turkey sandwich making classes for our nurses and medical assistants, to ensure continued high quality medical care.  We don’t want to suspend licenses like we did last year to a nurse for making an incorrect and sub-par sandwich. ”

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  • Avatar
    Rebecca Racioppo

    ACLS = Advanced Culinary Lifts Scores

  • Avatar
    Bill Moore

    PJ, you need a cheeseburger and a beer! ;-)

  • Avatar
    husaria

    The hospital gave me the diabetes!

    I didn’t have it when I got here but now you people gave me diabetes!

    Hey, has anyone seen my bag of snickers bars? I like to eat them when I’m drinking my double shot, triple chocolate, batter and deep fried latte.

  • Avatar
    husaria

    Well, leg bags would make any kind of break time not happen so….why not? ; )

  • Avatar
    Geoff Froehlich

    My patients are allergic to ginger ale and can only mix cranberry juice with the bottle of vodka in their recently peed-in jacket

  • Avatar
    Mandee Livingston
  • Avatar
    Lindsay Woody

    Glad you saved some lives last night with those stat samdwiches

  • Avatar
    BeachyNurse

    Killing me right now!

  • Avatar
    Carissa Typinski

    Thank goodness Lindsay Woody …

  • Avatar
    PJ Dew

    Says the non-diabetic who has never been in DKA. Guess what happens when your pancreas quits? Your blood sugar goes sky high b/c you don’t make insulin anymore. If their blood sugar is 700 AFTER diagnosis, it’s a matter of them not taking their insulin or pills, or their doc hasn’t properly medicated them. It doesn’t matter if they eat or not (even not eating, the liver pumps out sugar, and in fact will pump out MORE b/c it thinks you’re starving yourself), your sugar goes up, and it’s clear that they are not taking their meds. This is the thing you need to address-why are they not taking their meds? As a T1, who has been in DKA ONLY at diagnosis, it amazes me how medical people have no clue about diabetes. If I were to stop taking my insulin, I would be in the ER in 2 days with a blood sugar around 600-800 or higher and I would not have to eat to get it that high. Just miss a couple of shots. Pathophys lesson done for the day.

  • Avatar
    Jaime Hiddinga

    Amen, Laura, amen…

  • Avatar
    Jaime Hiddinga

    Instant death to be visited upon family member in three…two…

  • Avatar
    Erica Kirkland Reeves

    Teehee!

  • Avatar
    Diane Moore Canard

    Well I used to be a cook I can do this! Lol surprised no one has asked for this already.

  • Avatar
    Paul Juergens

    Is there a CPT code for that?

  • Avatar
    Casca

    BS=Baloney Sandwich ?

  • Avatar
    Casca

    while munching on Moon pie and drinking coke

  • Avatar
    Casca

    “Where’s the cheetos ?!!!!”

  • Avatar
    Sherri Donahoe Francisco

    Amy Barber Birkhimer Diane Moore Canard

  • Avatar
    Sherri Donahoe Francisco

    Amy Barber Birkhimer Diane Moore Canard

  • Avatar
    Helen Aanstoos

    What, no little packages of graham drackers and saltines?

  • Avatar
    Laura Morris

    Go to the snack machine.Nurses have more important things to do

  • Avatar
    Amy Craven Geurts

    Hahaha! Yep! RN = Refreshments and Narcotics!

  • Avatar
    Joseph Hartman

    My father-in-law is having an upcoming surgery, will rectal feeding be available?

  • Avatar
    Linda Parrish Bitka

    That would be great for the family members that are sitting for hors with their sick relatives.

  • Avatar
    Tommie Cox Blue

    Cel… Lol

  • Avatar
    Tommie Cox Blue

    Turkey sandwich Omnitel

  • Avatar
    Rebecca Barton

    Jacob Barton

  • Avatar
    Sue Cadwell

    Don’t forget to feed the family and visitors. They’re hungry too.

  • Avatar
    Michael Concannon

    Now, THIS is top-shelf medical thinking. All those gun-grabbing doctors practising politics could learn a thing or two from these guys… ;-)

  • Avatar
    Daniela Loibl

    Great idea!!!! I was so much more upset about starving to death than my chest pain after 6 hours in the emergency room and after numerous tests!!!!!

  • Avatar
    Heidi Julie

    One of the MANY reasons I can’t WAIT to get into grad school and FINALLY get the hell out of the hospital setting!

  • Avatar
    Katie Elizabeth

    Claire Reese

  • Avatar
    Mark Jones

    No BS. I actually met my wife while I was coding someone in the ER while eating a turkey sandwich.

  • Avatar
    Michael Robinson

    Where’s mine

  • Avatar
    Russ Holster

    That’s awesome!

  • Avatar
    Kim O’Leary

    We can do a build your own omelette bar on Sundays! Scores will soar!!!

  • Avatar
    Yo Robin

    Kim O’Leary you pioneered this treatment ! Well done! Right Judith Toski Welsh ?

  • Avatar
    Barbara Alcorn

    Liquids

  • Avatar
    Barbara Alcorn

    The new admit wit abd pain and intractable nausea asks for pain med, nauseous medicine and a menu. Are you freaking kidding me? You’re lucky you’re gettin clear lows

  • Avatar
    Dewayne Scribner

    Great! A $200 turkey sandwich that you pay for even if you don’t eat it.

  • Avatar
    Micah Ricketts Meyer

    OMG!!! I was wondering when this would finally happen. About time !!!!!!!!!

  • Avatar
    Laurel Phares

    finally lol!

  • Avatar
    Jane Becerra

    “I need a turkey sandwich, my Benadryl, some Dilala and my fen-rah-gen. What’s the wifi password? I need another outlet for my laptop and my iPod. I need to talk to a social worker because my lights got turned off and I need a furniture voucher.”

  • Avatar
    Joseph Rojas

    I’m coming over for lunch

  • Avatar
    Lynn Heilman Lawson

    Really ???? Is this for the starving nurses that haven’t been able to have lunch

  • Avatar
    Laura Hernandez Phillips

    We all know nothing resuscitates someone faster than a turkey samich & fruit punch!

  • Avatar
    Michelle Hughes Harthcock

    LOL! Perfect ! Actually had a family member say about their nurse “our waitress was supposed to bring us 2 Sprites, where are they?”

  • Avatar
    Marta Holmes

    Finally, the answer to “What time do you serve lunch in the ER?”

  • Avatar
    Bill Moore

    5-Rs. Right bread, Right meat, Right size, Right condiment, Right refreshing beverage.

  • Avatar
    Julie Edvardsen

    Bahaha!

  • Avatar
    Lauren Vanegas

    Ashley Larson King. Ha! You were just talking about this!

  • Avatar
    Jenny Codding

    I like that turkey is the first treatment option, but then you can try ham and roast beef.

  • Avatar
    Cassie Cobb

    Jenny Codding

  • Avatar
    Lori Spinney Allen

    “Is the bread gluten free??”

  • Avatar
    Courtney Parker Fischer

    “But I’m diabetic and haven’t eaten all day”= blood glucose of 700 and an insulin drip

  • Avatar
    Amy Craven Geurts

    Yep, that’ll take care of my 10/10 abdominal pain every time.

  • Avatar
    Wanda Gonzalez

    About darned time. I was sick and tired of complaining to the admins about this.

  • Avatar
    Jennifer Roberts Dixon

    Always the ones admitted with abdominal pain or nausea

  • Avatar
    FL Ettlin

    RN= refreshments and narcotics!

  • Avatar
    Tommie Cox Blue

    Amy Craven Geurts , turkey sandwich and dilaul

  • Avatar
    Susan Tozer

    “Is that all you have is diet pop? Can I have a menu?”

  • Avatar
    Matthew Smith

    Think this means we can get Arby’s to sponsor ACLS?

  • Avatar
    Stephanie Hancock Rezac

    Dietary staff are unsung heroes.

  • Avatar
    Emily Schwartz Dewey
  • Avatar
    Janet Shaw

    Leon Kitipornchai Kristy Rae…Bahahaha Jayne Berryman

  • Avatar
    David Hess

    I broke out in a hearty laugh.

  • Avatar
    Tammy Allen

    So sad that this is true.

  • Avatar
    Brandy Acklin Bradford

    Slick turkey to the rescue!!

  • Avatar
    Kris Schultz

    …and the phone so they can call their cousins in Memphis.

  • Avatar
    Neth Henry DeJesus-Dumbab

    Sadly, the truth in American medicine. It is no longer medicine but a hostage situation !

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