AUSTIN, TX – 56-year-old patient, Andrew Whitestack, is being credited with saving his own life by pushing the nursing call light button 46 times in one hour. Consultants and attorneys reviewing his case have determined that pushing the call light button “repeatedly” and in “rapid succession” was the life-saving measure that kept Mr. Whitestack alive in room 418 at Memorial Hospital yesterday evening, not the nurses taking care of him.
By pushing his call button so many times, it alerted nursing staff that he really needed help. Had Mr. Whitestack only pushed the button one time, nurses may not have responded since there are many “false positives” with call lights. Only after hearing repeated buzzing and blinking of his light, did he get the attention that he deserved.
Also, Mr. Whitestack astutely picked up on numerous lethal medical conditions that his nurse had neglected to see, including tiny air bubbles in his IV, blood backing up inches in the IV tubing immediately after a blood pressure cuff inflated on the same arm as the IV, a pillow that had fallen on the ground, and a bed angle of 23 degrees rather than the prescribed 30 degree head up. One time he even noticed his normal saline bag was about 100 ml away from being finished and nobody was in sight to begin changing it out.
“Had Mr. Whitestack not pushed his call light 46 times during the hour, the combination of all of these medical errors would have certainly led to his death,” stated medical consultant Dr. William Rolfes. “Delays in turkey sandwich delivery, Dilaudid fast pushes, Percocet pills, and ice chips may have been enough to push Mr. Whitestack into a fatal arrhythmia. Thank goodness he took his health into his own hands and pushed away at that button.”
Nurses interviewed on the floor were said to be appreciative of Mr. Whitestack’s attention to detail and letting them know about every ailment. RN Samantha Williamston, a licensed refreshment and narcotics delivery worker, stated: “Without the call light flashing, I’m not sure I ever would have entered his room. Thank you, Mr. Whitestack, for your vigilance and keeping us on our toes and for saving your own life.”
Mr. Whitestack has advice for other patients in order to help prevent this sentinel event from ever happening again: “My care at Memorial almost killed me. I recommend to any patient that they just continuously push the call light button in order to get the help they need from the minute they are admitted. I also recommend as soon as the nurse leaves the room, just go ahead and push the call light again since you don’t know how long it will take them to return.”
sadly, Mr. Whitestack was found with his call light up his butt just after this article was published.
Sherri Anne
That is ridiculous!
Keala Roy
#TrueStory
well it should be the most important thing, like a 911 call that sometimes goes unheeded. I know some patients abuse the buzzer which turns it into chicken little,
Remember, mr. Whitestack pays your check, so hop to it!
Bahahahahahaha!! Awesome…
Unfortunately my friend is really like this. Not satire on his room.
Awesome idea! Thanks!
Hilarious
This man is in the ED every shift…
I think his lesson has leaked out………;)
: )
: )
Does the nap come between providing direct patient care and dealing with concerned family members or between charting patient care in expert detail and getting caught up on all the employer’s mandatory online training? I can’t remember… ;)
Does the nap come between providing direct patient care and dealing with concerned family members or between charting patient care in expert detail and getting caught up on all the employer’s mandatory online training? I can’t remember… ;)
Nicole Waldrup Nicole Smoak Jaime Tomanovich Lannette Allie Danielle Jones Daniela Murariu Tennille Bradley Alex Muscatelli Debra Casto Melissa Wease Karrie Sobiesiak Brandy McCarthy Marvic Malabanan Kelli O’Halloran Sarah Hamilton Megan Gelardi Alyssa Iannello Melissa Leanne…
Nicole Waldrup Nicole Smoak Jaime Tomanovich Lannette Allie Danielle Jones Daniela Murariu Tennille Bradley Alex Muscatelli Debra Casto Melissa Wease Karrie Sobiesiak Brandy McCarthy Marvic Malabanan Kelli O’Halloran Sarah Hamilton Megan Gelardi Alyssa Iannello Melissa Leanne…
I’ve met this man so many times.
I’ve met this man so many times.
Don’t forget also yelling “Nurse”!!!!!!! At the top of your lungs……..
Don’t forget also yelling “Nurse”!!!!!!! At the top of your lungs……..
I didn’t know that
No way!! Who’s idea was a call button anyway? Bad bad bad
The pillow on the ground could have definitely killed him! Bahahahahaha
Yes, it’s a joke, hence being a satire page!
This is satire.
Lol!!!
What an insult to the nursing profession!
Joni Kindwall-Moore
“Wakes up the nurses”
That’s rich
His issues weren’t life threatening-what a joke
Yes I am crazy. However I’m talking about lay crazies!!! At work now….
Sounds like the pt in rm 507 last night!
Not on my floor. That is sad!!!!
Is this for real? If so the writer needs a smack in the head. What a joke.
Mary Greene
This is a joke, right?
So pushing the light over and over wakes up the nurses?
Thank goodness
Roibeárd Tomás Mac Brádaigh too funny !!
What a joke!
Lay people usually do not know what Gomer means !!!!
Another possibility…..because…… they’re STUPID?!?!?
What you mean a pillow on the floor isn’t life threatening? My patients have been lying to me then
I always wanted to invent a call bell that would just give you an electric shock if you pushed it more than twice an hour.
This is awesome!
I’m usually patient,kind & forgiving,but touch that call light if you’re tired of living…
Av fistula in the other arm?
That. Is. Amazing!
This patient probably also googled his symptoms! Lol
“Narcotics and refreshment delivery workers”….
That’s awesome!
Janet Chong Sako Enoway Jackie Jimenez Donna Robinson Breonne Eberhart Katherine Gee Aimee-Jane Baxa Laura Santos Aloha Francisco Honey P Albino Andrea Partika Kelly Martinez Hamon Courtney Henegar Tony Glorioso Nat Cayetano Kristine Yamada Momohara JoAnn Orians-Larin Michele Pearson
Wes Hunter, April Hager Wolski
Refreshment and Narcotic Delivery person!!! Perfect!
Now hes a double lower leg amputee? With double ac access This thread is taking on a life of its own
Jessica Cindi Sarah Joell Angie April Amanda Michelle Tammy Yvonne Rebecca Melissa Blaq Renee Tabitha
If that’s the only limb you can use.
Sometimes they just really want you to fluff their pillow haha
No shit Florence nightengale but it did not specifically say that and ankles are fair game for bps using a dynamap
Elizabeth VanLeirsburg Schwader :). Nostalgic for our time together ;)
Um when you have a line in both AC’s?
Who takes a bp on a iv access arm? Otherwise cleverly written
Bianca Lutz read the article, reminds me too much of work….just another day in paradise, right? ;)
So are you saying you’re a “crazy person” then Angela?
Crystal Walker
Lol
As if the name “Gomerblog” isn’t enough to give it away as a satirical site…
Victoria Strickland Junkin Leah Oswalt Cassie Raney Clark Casey Hubbard
Christina Marie Breaux Latasha Anderson
Ryan Pettit This is sooo good
Bobbie Agcaoili lol
this is great ;)
When it says it’s The Onion for medical professionals that should be your first clue that this is a highly satirical blog.
:)
I hope so. It’s real though when crazy people read it!
That’s my new title, Refreshments and Narcotic delivery worker. Wonder if it pays more….sounds important
Aka a joke site…
Jenny Codding
Micaela Jane Conroy
Gotta share that with my ED RNs!
We should almost send you a gomerblog flask for all of those shares! Thx!
I saw nothing life threatening in those statements. Tiny air bubbles. Blood backing up and an almost empty IV are not life threatening. Nor is a pillow on the floor.
Read this tonight Jamie Kirby Lynch
Brittany Isom Dave Kritner Andrea Walls Harrell Jennifer Ryder Medlin Maegan Wray Desi Kyriakopoulos Cordell Chrystal Guiles Martin Beth Mann Black Laci Page Jeff Ellis Mara Smith A Kaye Taylor
Yeah, those are the FUN patients!
Ha ha ha ha ha…must read Joan Beauchemin Thiesen