turkey in code cart
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SAN DIEGO, CA – According to hospital administrators, Code Blue carts are now being outfitted to meet a new and growing medical emergency.  Effective Jan. 1, 2015, Drawer 2 in all Code Blue carts at Sunshine Community Hospital will contain freshly-made turkey sandwiches and mini ginger ales.

turkey in code cart“Medical emergencies have really changed over the past 20 years,” said hospital administrator Jeremy Brighton.  “Today’s real and more frequent emergencies in the ED and on the floors deal with irate hungry patients.  We like to call it a Code Hangry around here.  If a patient is hungry or thirsty, they might fill out a negative patient satisfaction survey.  That, my friends, would be worse than an actual death.”

Drawer 1 will still contain normal ACLS drugs such as epinephrine, vasopressin, and amiodarone.  Instead of overrated airway equipment, Drawer 2 will now contain mini ginger ale cans and at least 4 freshly-made sandwiches.  Two of the sandwiches need to be turkey sandwiches to be used as a first-round agent.  After the first round of hunger resuscitation has been performed, ham and roast beef sandwiches can be used as alternative treatment modalities.

Sandwiches are required to have stickers placed on Saran wrap with the date and time.  According to the Joint Commission, writing the date and time with a Sharpie directly on the Saran wrap will be forbidden as it must be written on a white label.   Sandwiches will expire 24 hours after preparation, and will need to be replaced in the code cart.  The sandwiches will be wrapped in such a way that nurses will be able to open and unwrap the sandwich in less than 3 seconds in order to administer them quickly to patients.

Ginger ale must be in mini-sized cans in order for the drawer to close, and must be delivered via a 5 mm 12-inch straw with a flexible end within seconds of administering a sandwich.

“We are excited about bringing these new life saving adjuncts to our medical teams,” stated Brighton.  “Next on our list is to mandate turkey sandwich making classes for our nurses and medical assistants, to ensure continued high quality medical care.  We don’t want to suspend licenses like we did last year to a nurse for making an incorrect and sub-par sandwich. ”

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  • Rebecca Racioppo

    ACLS = Advanced Culinary Lifts Scores

  • Bill Moore

    PJ, you need a cheeseburger and a beer! ;-)

  • husaria

    The hospital gave me the diabetes!

    I didn’t have it when I got here but now you people gave me diabetes!

    Hey, has anyone seen my bag of snickers bars? I like to eat them when I’m drinking my double shot, triple chocolate, batter and deep fried latte.

  • husaria

    Well, leg bags would make any kind of break time not happen so….why not? ; )

  • Geoff Froehlich

    My patients are allergic to ginger ale and can only mix cranberry juice with the bottle of vodka in their recently peed-in jacket

  • Mandee Livingston
  • Lindsay Woody

    Glad you saved some lives last night with those stat samdwiches

  • BeachyNurse

    Killing me right now!

  • Carissa Typinski

    Thank goodness Lindsay Woody …

  • PJ Dew

    Says the non-diabetic who has never been in DKA. Guess what happens when your pancreas quits? Your blood sugar goes sky high b/c you don’t make insulin anymore. If their blood sugar is 700 AFTER diagnosis, it’s a matter of them not taking their insulin or pills, or their doc hasn’t properly medicated them. It doesn’t matter if they eat or not (even not eating, the liver pumps out sugar, and in fact will pump out MORE b/c it thinks you’re starving yourself), your sugar goes up, and it’s clear that they are not taking their meds. This is the thing you need to address-why are they not taking their meds? As a T1, who has been in DKA ONLY at diagnosis, it amazes me how medical people have no clue about diabetes. If I were to stop taking my insulin, I would be in the ER in 2 days with a blood sugar around 600-800 or higher and I would not have to eat to get it that high. Just miss a couple of shots. Pathophys lesson done for the day.

  • Jaime Hiddinga

    Amen, Laura, amen…

  • Jaime Hiddinga

    Instant death to be visited upon family member in three…two…

  • Erica Kirkland Reeves

    Teehee!

  • Diane Moore Canard

    Well I used to be a cook I can do this! Lol surprised no one has asked for this already.

  • Paul Juergens

    Is there a CPT code for that?

  • Casca

    BS=Baloney Sandwich ?

  • Casca

    while munching on Moon pie and drinking coke

  • Casca

    “Where’s the cheetos ?!!!!”

  • Sherri Donahoe Francisco

    Amy Barber Birkhimer Diane Moore Canard

  • Sherri Donahoe Francisco

    Amy Barber Birkhimer Diane Moore Canard

  • Helen Aanstoos

    What, no little packages of graham drackers and saltines?

  • Laura Morris

    Go to the snack machine.Nurses have more important things to do

  • Amy Craven Geurts

    Hahaha! Yep! RN = Refreshments and Narcotics!

  • Joseph Hartman

    My father-in-law is having an upcoming surgery, will rectal feeding be available?

  • Linda Parrish Bitka

    That would be great for the family members that are sitting for hors with their sick relatives.

  • Tommie Cox Blue

    Cel… Lol

  • Tommie Cox Blue

    Turkey sandwich Omnitel

  • Rebecca Barton

    Jacob Barton

  • Sue Cadwell

    Don’t forget to feed the family and visitors. They’re hungry too.

  • Michael Concannon

    Now, THIS is top-shelf medical thinking. All those gun-grabbing doctors practising politics could learn a thing or two from these guys… ;-)

  • Daniela Loibl

    Great idea!!!! I was so much more upset about starving to death than my chest pain after 6 hours in the emergency room and after numerous tests!!!!!

  • Heidi Julie

    One of the MANY reasons I can’t WAIT to get into grad school and FINALLY get the hell out of the hospital setting!

  • Katie Elizabeth

    Claire Reese

  • Mark Jones

    No BS. I actually met my wife while I was coding someone in the ER while eating a turkey sandwich.

  • Michael Robinson

    Where’s mine

  • Russ Holster

    That’s awesome!

  • Kim O’Leary

    We can do a build your own omelette bar on Sundays! Scores will soar!!!

  • Yo Robin

    Kim O’Leary you pioneered this treatment ! Well done! Right Judith Toski Welsh ?

  • Barbara Alcorn

    Liquids

  • Barbara Alcorn

    The new admit wit abd pain and intractable nausea asks for pain med, nauseous medicine and a menu. Are you freaking kidding me? You’re lucky you’re gettin clear lows

  • Dewayne Scribner

    Great! A $200 turkey sandwich that you pay for even if you don’t eat it.

  • Micah Ricketts Meyer

    OMG!!! I was wondering when this would finally happen. About time !!!!!!!!!

  • Laurel Phares

    finally lol!

  • Jane Becerra

    “I need a turkey sandwich, my Benadryl, some Dilala and my fen-rah-gen. What’s the wifi password? I need another outlet for my laptop and my iPod. I need to talk to a social worker because my lights got turned off and I need a furniture voucher.”

  • Joseph Rojas

    I’m coming over for lunch

  • Lynn Heilman Lawson

    Really ???? Is this for the starving nurses that haven’t been able to have lunch

  • Laura Hernandez Phillips

    We all know nothing resuscitates someone faster than a turkey samich & fruit punch!

  • Michelle Hughes Harthcock

    LOL! Perfect ! Actually had a family member say about their nurse “our waitress was supposed to bring us 2 Sprites, where are they?”

  • Marta Holmes

    Finally, the answer to “What time do you serve lunch in the ER?”

  • Bill Moore

    5-Rs. Right bread, Right meat, Right size, Right condiment, Right refreshing beverage.

  • Julie Edvardsen

    Bahaha!

  • Lauren Vanegas

    Ashley Larson King. Ha! You were just talking about this!

  • Jenny Codding

    I like that turkey is the first treatment option, but then you can try ham and roast beef.

  • Cassie Cobb

    Jenny Codding

  • Lori Spinney Allen

    “Is the bread gluten free??”

  • Courtney Parker Fischer

    “But I’m diabetic and haven’t eaten all day”= blood glucose of 700 and an insulin drip

  • Amy Craven Geurts

    Yep, that’ll take care of my 10/10 abdominal pain every time.

  • Wanda Gonzalez

    About darned time. I was sick and tired of complaining to the admins about this.

  • Jennifer Roberts Dixon

    Always the ones admitted with abdominal pain or nausea

  • FL Ettlin

    RN= refreshments and narcotics!

  • Tommie Cox Blue

    Amy Craven Geurts , turkey sandwich and dilaul

  • Susan Tozer

    “Is that all you have is diet pop? Can I have a menu?”

  • Matthew Smith

    Think this means we can get Arby’s to sponsor ACLS?

  • Stephanie Hancock Rezac

    Dietary staff are unsung heroes.

  • Emily Schwartz Dewey
  • Janet Shaw

    Leon Kitipornchai Kristy Rae…Bahahaha Jayne Berryman

  • David Hess

    I broke out in a hearty laugh.

  • Tammy Allen

    So sad that this is true.

  • Brandy Acklin Bradford

    Slick turkey to the rescue!!

  • Kris Schultz

    …and the phone so they can call their cousins in Memphis.

  • Neth Henry DeJesus-Dumbab

    Sadly, the truth in American medicine. It is no longer medicine but a hostage situation !

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