HARTFORD, CT – “Seriously, another back injury claim?” questioned hospital administrator Lawrence Gates. “Why do our clumsy nurses always go and hurt themselves on the job?”
Gates has been burdened with over 38 nursing injuries this month alone from staff members injuring themselves lifting patients. “I don’t think our staff realize how much paperwork is involved when they ‘injure’ themselves. Not to mention all of the lost man hours. I wish they would just stop getting hurt.”
What fires Gates up even more is that every month they mandate all staff to watch a “How to Lift Patients Properly” video and he thinks the staff is just blowing it off and not following instructions.
“The video is extremely clear. It shows how to lift with your legs and not your back. Simple,” proclaimed Gates. “I don’t know what the hell our nurses are doing. I mean, really, how hard can it be to lift a 450-lb patient off the floor who is helping out with at least 30 lbs or moving their food tray first. This paperwork from these bogus injuries on my desk weighs at least 40 lbs and I have to carry it all by myself!”
Nursing staff have a 180-degree view from hospital administrators.
“Our patients are getting bigger and bigger these days. The injuries are only going to become more frequent and more severe,” said 5W charge nurse Tammy Meyerton. “Hospital administrators are clueless on how hard it is to lift these patients several times a day.”
“Increasing our nursing staff to patient ratio to 1 to 8 obviously didn’t help either. We now have more patients to lift and fewer people to help. Do you know how hard it is to find 6 available nurses to lift a 450-lb patient? Impossible under these work conditions.”
In regards to the mandatory lifting video, Meyerton became even more fired up. “That damn video… If I have to watch that 1980s VHS video with MIDI music, showing three smiling workers helping a 100-lb. woman up again, USING their legs… I’m seriously going to punch something. Start adding boxer fractures to your list of injuries soon!”
For years, nursing staff has been begging hospital administrators to install hydraulic patient lifting machines, but cost has been a road block. Gary Richards, an ICU nurse believes, “Instead of outfitting wards with these devices, administrators would rather allow injuries to occur and then chastise the individuals who get hurt.”
When Gates was asked about why hydraulic lifts weren’t being installed or available, Gates felt the lifts might reflect poorly on patient satisfaction scores. “Picture this, you are a patient here at our hospital. Can you imagine how embarrassing it must be to be placed in a lifting chair or device? Talk about a self-esteem killer, which we all know would lead to poor satisfaction scores. It would be equivalent to calling someone fat to their face. The price tag and the insult that goes with these devices is not worth it.”
Gates had one final statement for the Nursing staff: “Nurses, lift with your legs, get others to help, and if that isn’t enough, then I suggest you hit the gym for some squats and core exercises because I’m getting sick of all this paperwork.”
