WHITE PLAINS, NY – In a shrewd but brilliant marketing move last week, Hoveranywhere announced plans to sell thousands of “smaller-sized” pediatric power chairs.
The chairs are modeled after the adult Hoveraround, but will come in three scaled down sizes and eight different colors to accommodate the rapidly-expanding population of morbidly obese kids.
John Rossman, CEO of Hoveraround, was reached by GomerBlog for comments. “If it is socially acceptable for obese but able-bodied adults to avoid walking and instead ride a motorized wheelchair, then why shouldn’t the same practice be acceptable for obese children?” he reasoned.
“Walking should be a thing of the past. Why should us humans continue walking like our cave man ancestors, when we have the capability to travel in comfort?”
The chairs will retail for about $3500. Each chair comes equipped with a 16″ LCD monitor, Bose surround sound speakers, WiFi capability, a bin for storage of deep-fried carbohydrate snacks, a cooler for calorie-dense beverages, a toilet, an X-Box, disability paperwork, and a lifetime exercise excuse.