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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a tragic tale of “I told you so,” three nurses died overnight at Mercy Hospital as a result of eating food and leaving open beverages at the nurses station.  The night shift nurses working reportedly ordered pizza and since hospital administrators were all gone, they broke the cardinal Joint Commission rule of no eating at the nurses station.

nurse station
Tragedy at the Nurses Station

“I saw them just pounding pizza slices at the nurses station,” said respiratory therapist Tom Biggins.  “I thought it was odd that they weren’t eating in the break room, but they seemed to be ok typing nursing notes on the computer and eating at the same time.  Most people can multitask while eating.”

Two of the nurses also had open soda cans at the station, which experts are now thinking was their eventual cause of death.

Medical examiner Dr. Timothy Fribbins hasn’t seen anything like this in his career.  The nurses were barely identifiable as their bodies had turned into gelatinous ooze.

“The pizza at the nurses station likely led to a weakened immune system.  The open soda containers must have absorbed some super bacteria which then caused a rampant infection almost instantaneously throughout their crippled bodies once they drank the soda.  They never had a fighting chance.”

The Joint Commission has already released a memo to the hospital which simply read, “We are deeply sorry to hear about the tragedy at Mercy Hospital last night.  As a friendly reminder, food and beverages are forbidden at the nurses station for this very reason.  We told you so.”

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  • marcia Gillingham

    I don’t believe this statement was written by anyone from joint commission

  • whitney

    I don’t even know how to take this comment

  • whitney

    Why not? Are you a nurse? Spread some knowledge on me obi!

  • J.p. Miller

    But very good satire.

  • Gina Hooker

    can you email me at hookergina@gmail.com? I would be glad to get your input. Thank you for your interest!

  • swampsister

    yup, and frequently at smaller hospitals, the cafeteria closes so early so there is not always time to get decent food. I do know of a resp therapist who was unable to get to cafeteria before it closed, so took a lean cuisine out of the freezer in an act of desperation. A staff member turned him in and he was fired for theft. And he was an awesome RT.

  • swampsister

    Gina Hooker, I am really intrigued by this 501c3 status – would like more information on what you did.

  • swampsister

    where is this hospital? must be california, definitely not in florida.

  • Roger Simms

    Amazing!
    Who writes this stupid junk?
    Where they ate is of no concern.
    If close to true the news would be what and how did the pizza get contaminated?
    The topic spending so much space of the article and attention of the writer is do absurd who would think it is true?
    Satire involving death or naming a hospital is not quality to be involved with.

  • Juls

    satire.
    google it.

  • Juls

    lmao. Snopes is a guy a his wife that sit on their couch and google shit all day.
    Google “satire”. That will ease your pain.
    LMAO

  • Matt

    They don’t even know what satire means, so you are good.

  • ricotee

    Coca Cola is trying to cover it up too! Can you imagine how many sales they would lose if this got out????

  • Leslie

    Snopes says FALSE

  • Gina Hooker

    Yes it is satire but writer calling attention to the fact that nursing staff is often unable to leave their unit(patients) in order to eat and is a fact that we get in trouble if we eat or drink at the desk per Joint Commission mandates. Executive administration must enforce these mandates to remain compliant. That still leaves nursing staff unable often times to receive the necessary opportunity to refuel and refresh during their 12 to 13 hour shifts. I recently formed a Support Group for patients and staff which obtained 501c3 status. My desire is to provide needed breaks for staff and family members (who sit at bedside of confused patients) as well as give comfort items to patients and provide teachingsupport on end if life issues. I met with administration and offered a package price and services at a nominal fee, which would be a tax write off for them as well. A win win for everyone….yet they couldn’t bring themselves to support the Support Group financially. However the board did just approve 1.7 million dollars in bonuses for the executive staff!!! This would leave me to think they only care about themselves. So nothing will change…..I have been a nurse for 30 years and no one has ever strived to help those who help others. But they have ordered mirrors to put at nurses stations so we can see our facial expressions when we answer the phones……to make us more aware of how frowning comes across in our voices! Get real!!!!!!!!

  • redheart

    The JCHO is always right. They know everything!

  • donallover

    Lol…very clever.

  • marcia Gillingham

    I have been a registered nurse for 40 years the last 25 in management and joint commission would never end a statement with ” we told you so”.

  • Messsgt

    Was not aware that it was satire. Having worked in a hospital for 37 years, all on nights, and mostly in ICU, I have missed many meals and breaks. Even though I am retired, I am still sympathetic to hospital employees, especially the ones on the night shift.

  • Elliott says meow

    The hospital I worked in for a while remodeled and made our break room so far away and so depressing that no one goes there.

  • Elliott says meow

    Worked an ER for 6 years, we would laugh at the whole “break” thing. For a while, management enforced breaks, but then we would get in trouble for making our “customers” unhappy because a temporary caregiver came in. Between that and staffing cuts, breaks just went away.

  • Elliott says meow

    Um, it is satire.

  • joe shmoe

    shhh, its more fun if they dont.

  • Lauren Wolf

    Anyone who thinks this isn’t satire……..

  • Lauren Wolf

    If you see a nurse grazing, you are not looking at a nurse.

  • sable

    Anyone that falls for this story is a moron.

  • Jamie Dolly

    I most definitely agree with you. I work in health care at a hospital on the Ortho/trauma unit and it is always very busy. Your constantly on your feet moving around. And you get so focused on patient care or an emergency happens that you don’t have time to take care of yourself. And they are very strict about food and drinks at the nurses station as well. Sometimes I go all day without eating, drinking, or using the bathroom

  • Bazza

    Yeah Fitz, you’re most definitely at risk……. LOL, scroll down a little champion and actually read the page hehehe

  • fitznicentite

    Holy crap, why isn’t this all over the news? Likely some kind of Ebola or MRSA?? Probably the government is trying to cover this up. The article though is lacking many details, pretty poor reporting. Is the hospital locked down?? Where is this again, and am I at risk??

  • RNKid

    not a nurse at all. and not all nurses are worked to the bone and lose down time, but a significant amount of them are “abused”. the job is not a standard 9-5 with lunch at noon. perhaps in the endeavor of patient comfort they should first focus on staff comfort? Instead of hiking to the break room place one or several through out so breaks can be a wee bit more manageable. hospitals need to focus on the comfort more so of the staff initially as they are literally on their feet all day making people better. the lack of carpet padding, places to stand with foot/lower back friendly material, an actual floating nurse who all they do is provide cover so others can take their much needed break, and over all just a better environment so it will bleed off into their job with their patients. Ever notice the crappy nurses seem to be at the crappy hospitals? You know the administrators are comfy so why not do unto others? My moms hospital has RN floaters for lunches and breaks, ergonomically correct chairs/desks, tea and coffee makers plus supplies FURNISHED FREE, a stipend for the scrubs, and on full moon madness week they bring in a couple of different masseuses. there is not excuse whatsoever for not being kinder and gentler to those healing the sick.

  • catholicrn44

    If you are NOT a nurse then you should keep your crappy opinions and comments to yourself…jus sayin’

  • Tiffany Lanseros Morea

    Apparently you tpy2012 are not a nurse much less an icu nurse. When a nurse takes a break the relieving nurse is taking double the load, if said nurse were in her pts room and one of the relieved nurses pt decides to do one of the many combinations of things….fall out of bed, code, to name a few she is held when responsible. Well nurses care about their pts and dont want anything preventable to happen to our pts. So If you see a nurse grazing, eating at the desk, bc were human and have to eat bc Idk our pt is 500 lbs and have been cleaning shit all night or have taken our 3rd trip to CT, then I dare you to cast any stones.

  • Philippine Freedom

    NOW THE WORLD KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT NURSES ARE TO THE WELL BEING OF THE HUMAN RACE AND HUMANITY ITSELF. #EBOLA #STOPEBOLAINAFRICA

  • grannylynn

    they are entitled to breaks but rarely get them so eating at the desk may be the only option. my guess is you eat when you are hungry. they should not eat in patient rooms but the nurses station is their desk just like in an office or work cubby

  • grannylynn

    it is funny perhaps not to mercy employees but the point is that the ban is stupid and /or hospitals need to do a better job of taking care of the day to day needs of their staff

  • grannylynn

    while this is satire the point being missed is nurses rarely get a break to eat in a break room and that is why the ban on drinks and food at the nurses station is such a sore point. most other jobs provide for lunch breaks or people eat at their desk. 2o12 . the nurses station is our desk. I do not condone eating in pt rooms . sometime really watch the nurses and see if they get breaks. some departments they do but in many the system does not provide for coverage of their patients so they can take a break and they must eat on the fly .

  • Clay Jones

    I can’t read right now, but I’m assuming it was aerosolized high fructose corn syrup. Fizz = death!

  • Guest

    I sure hope no one takes this seriously. I happen to work for a Mercy organization, and while this is intended to be funny, it isn’t.

  • tpy2012

    Nurses should not graze at their nurses station!

  • docscottu

    miraculously the patient eating right across the hallway from the nurses’ station managed to survive

  • Jennifer Goodridge

    I really hope Messgt is being sarcastic. You do know this is satire?
    You too Pam.

  • Messsgt

    What difference could it have made where the ate the pizza and drank the soda? The same thing, under the same conditions would have happened if they had eaten the pizza and drank the soda in the break room.

  • Pam

    i would be going to the Joint Commision and asking questions… sounds to suspicious to me

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