measuring tape

New Study Demonstrates Average Penis Size to be 5.4 Inches

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BOSTON, MA – A new study conducted by the National Urological Association enrolled over 25,000 males of all races to measure flaccid and erect penis sizes.  Their results concluded the average erect penis size to be 5.4 inches and the average flaccid size to be 3.1 inches.  Results seem to parallel results from another recent study conducted by the British Journal of Urology.

measuring tapeMeasurements were conducted using a Stanley tape measure, washed in between uses, and two medical students hoping to pursue a future career in urology.  Both measurements were recorded and averaged together to minimize measurement error.

Feet, hands, testicular droop, and testicle size were also measured but no correlation between those measurements and penis size could be determined.  However, men with bigger hands tended to have a subjectively smaller looking penis, especially from the profile view.  One correlation surprisingly demonstrated that Corvette drivers actually had an average size of 6.8 inches, thus disproving any prior myths.  Men with a Prius or a Subaru Outback not surprisingly were “consistently in the erect 3-4 inch range.”

A side study was also performed which also had each participant measure their own penis size.  As expected self-measurements were “grossly overestimated” with erect and flaccid states 3.7 and 1.8 inches higher than actually measured by the medical students.

After erection was achieved and measured, cold water was splashed along with showing a picture of each individual’s mother which achieved a return to flaccidity on average in 1.3 seconds.  After 5 seconds, clear shrinkage was occurring with a -1.7 inch retraction from flaccid baseline.

No males were harmed in conducting this study.  More studies are needed to strengthen results for this extremely important topic, and the authors recommend shifting money for less exciting cancer research to this cause.  Future studies could look into why right testicles droop down farther than left testicles.

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  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Ernie Shepard

    Holy shit they keep doing studies and average size gets smaller. 3 or 4 more studies and I’ll be average. And average meat sleeve is 4-5 inches.

  • Avatar
    Brad Kennedy

    And then the Big Ass Truck guys didnt get it….

  • Avatar
    Steve Corley

    Hey Justdave Smith check out this article

  • Avatar
    Lora Ann Cullipher

    Ever notice how short dudes wear the biggest wristwatches? There’s a reason for that.

  • Avatar
    Sandy Robbins

    Hahaha

  • Avatar
    Jennifer Rooker

    No surprise here- right Brian Rooker? Haha

  • Avatar
    Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    I’ve always liked corvettes….

  • Avatar
    Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    I’ve always liked corvettes….

  • Avatar
    Jody Madden

    How about a correlation study of poor carpenters blaming their tools?

  • Avatar
    Jody Madden

    How about a correlation study of poor carpenters blaming their tools?

  • Avatar
    Chip Ledbetter

    Happy with my Honda Fit! ;-)

  • Avatar
    Chip Ledbetter

    Happy with my Honda Fit! ;-)

  • Avatar
    Kenneth Holloway

    Mmmmmk what’s the average vagina size?

  • Avatar
    Kenneth Holloway

    Mmmmmk what’s the average vagina size?

  • Avatar
    Mickie Geri Farris

    David Seth Aaronson

  • Avatar
    Mickie Geri Farris

    David Seth Aaronson

  • Avatar
    Jim Reginelli

    suv drivers must be in the below average group

  • Avatar
    Toni Crocco-Faison

    Where are the smart remarks Guys?

  • Avatar
    Suzanne Kisting

    Only? How disappointing

  • Avatar
    Kathie Sale Macchioni

    too funny by half.

  • Avatar
    Monica McKnight

    *snort

  • Avatar
    Takis H. Panagiotakis

    Sorry to hear!

  • Avatar
    Joe Paoletta

    The next study involves ‘ the motion of the ocean ‘

  • Avatar
    Jack Scott

    Lol.

  • Avatar
    Neil Shah

    Prius != Priapus

  • Avatar
    Jo Woodard

    Hilarious!

  • Avatar
    Nate Schneider

    Takis H. Panagiotakis

  • Avatar
    Jennifer Corbin

    Jack Scott

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