wine pairs

Tips: What Wine Pairs Well with Patients & Helps Me Cope with Them?

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We’ve all been there.  You’re at bedside with your patient and you find yourself stumped on which wine you should drink to best pair with him or her.  You may be stressed and simply want to drink yourself silly, taking no heed to what kind of alcohol you put in your body.  Though that approach is completely acceptable and even encouraged at times, consider these fine wine pairings to bring out subtleties or enhance certain qualities in your patients or your work.

wine pairsRefreshing and zesty white wines are a great match for flaky patients.

Patients can be quite flaky at times, but this doesn’t mean you can’t have a nice wine to make them more palatable.  Flaky patients are generally mild in flavor and thin.  Take a sip of Pinot Grigio or Vermentino from Italy, Muscadet or Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire Valley, or even a Greek white wine to perfectly balance this kind of patient’s personality and flavor profile.

If your patient is both fishy and salty, Champagne is the way to go.

For a patient who is sketchy and aggressive, Champagne can prove to be the perfect match.  When you consume Champagne, the bubbles lighten the patient’s tough pain-seeking exterior while the acidity helps dissipate some of your patient’s fishy features allowing you to tolerate him or her far longer than you would otherwise be able.  Champagne and other sparkling wines also pair particularly well with patients who are entitled.

Moscato d’Asti is delicious with sweet little old ladies.

The light, sweet, fizzy, and crisp nature of Moscato d’Asti has a delightful and pleasant way of pairing with cute little old ladies.  If you thought your LOLs were cute and adorable now, imagine how much more so when you have a glass or two of Moscato d’Asti; they will become an absolute HOOT!!!  Another tip: Moscato d’Asti also goes incredibly well with spicy and improper patients, as the sweetness of the wine cuts through their nonsense and BS.

A patient with fatty liver disease should stop drinking, but you should drink Sauternes.

Like Sauternes and foie gras, Sauternes and a patient with fatty liver disease is a classic and stunning pairing.  When you consume the sweet, rich, alcoholic, and acidic Sauternes while taking care of a buttery and salty fatty liver patient, your taste buds will experience the ultimate food orgasm as they dance with wondrous intensity.  You’ll never think of Sauternes or liver disease the same way again.

When in doubt, it’s never wrong to pair the patient with a wine region.

Sometimes it’s best to keep things simple.  Is your patient Italian and earthy?  Then try an Italian red like Sangiovese and Nebbiolo.  Chill and from the West Coast?  Anything from Santa Barbara or Napa Valley will do.

Any alcohol, not just wine, pairs with charting, notes, and discharge summaries, especially late at night.

Are you frustrated because you have so many notes or discharge summaries left to do?  Don’t you fret!  Grab your favorite alcoholic beverage – beer, wine, spirit, or even hand-sanitizer – and say “Bottom’s up!”  Not only will those notes get done, but you’ll have an absolute blast doing so.  Just be careful with all those typos and curse words.

Dr. 99 believes wine can be paired with anything in life.  Please join Dr. 99 in this endeavor and have your primary care physician monitor your liver function tests every six months.

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  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Cynthia Chaney

    Hilarious!! I ❤️GomerBlog

  • Avatar
    Kendall Johnson

    Haha! I wonder how many here remember the mad dog?

  • Avatar
    Peggy Dague-Mannion

    Oh God, I agree!

  • Avatar
    Emily Brinson Evans

    Cynthia Chaney ;)

  • Avatar
    Camie Wright

    Adrienne Rasbach

  • Avatar
    Kyla Milligan

    Bourbon. Always bourbon.

  • Avatar
    Rhonda Pollard Spellmeier

    Definitely has to be ingested. And at least 80 proof. Preferably a clear beverage so as not to mask any intestinal bleeding on the way out.

  • Avatar
    Stephanie Brown

    (As long as it’s ingested, topical is ineffective)

  • Avatar
    Stephanie Brown

    The vodka tonic (hold the tonic) is now a peer reviewed study. Evidenced Based Practice now suggests vodka with or without ice is effective.

  • Avatar
    Christine Gerber Dill

    I can just imagine the nurses station

  • Avatar
    Jackie Bellette

    A wine right now would be rather perfect!

  • Avatar
    Stacy Hooks

    Deb Gilbert Angela Duncan Sydney Neel Ashley Bean Brian Hohertz Tira Joe Bryant Anna Lea Booth Turner Simmons Chetan Patel

  • Avatar
    Bec Arthur

    Jane

  • Avatar
    Bec Arthur

    Jackie

  • Avatar
    Laura Crisp

    Nancy Villante LOLOLOLOLOLZZZZ

  • Avatar
    Mindy Vorpahl

    Just one? ;)

  • Avatar
    Amy Kalkbrenner

    Stacy

  • Avatar
    Dennisse Ruiz-Adib

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Lora Gale

    Hahaha!!!!

  • Avatar
    Amanda Fair

    Aimee Semmens

  • Avatar
    John Murray

    Thel, some new pointers?

  • Avatar
    Jenny Wong

    Lauren Marie ;)

  • Avatar
    Becky Brown

    O.M.G. This is amazing! Buttery and salty liver patients?!?

  • Avatar
    Cathy Sinclair

    Rescue Doc

  • Avatar
    Cathy Sinclair

    Gareth Keat

  • Avatar
    Cathy Sinclair

    Rachel Philip

  • Avatar
    Jeremy Castle

    i’d recommend something quite sterile…maybe a vodka tonic (hold the tonic)

  • Avatar
    Emily Christine Mershon

    Haha!!!!! Who would that be? Lol #underbite

  • Avatar
    Kelley Smith

    Hahaha. I mean they’re may have been one person that couldve mixed well….and no, not george straight.

  • Avatar
    Emily Christine Mershon

    And George Strait! Lol

  • Avatar
    Kelley Smith

    Bad decisions, good times and no 5am bootcamp?

  • Avatar
    Emily Christine Mershon

    Kelley Smith wonder what mixes with margaritas and sangria……

  • Avatar
    Emily Boston

    Runs-ling

  • Avatar
    Emily Boston

    Cabernet, smell-and-gone

  • Avatar
    Emily Boston

    Torrids, I mean, Torrantes

  • Avatar
    Gomerblog

    You guys are hilarious!

  • Avatar
    Matthew Lenhard

    I personally feel that fatty liver pairs better with fava beans and a nice chianti.

  • Avatar
    Andrea Campbell

    So glad to hear I’m not the only one. Lol.

  • Avatar
    Rhonda Pollard Spellmeier

    Maybe homemade moonshine…that surely would kill anything in the GI tract…

  • Avatar
    Kelley Pozza-Adams

    Amy Knupp Moore

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    Shannon Hopkins

    I might go with something that will wipe out the olfactory system, like a cinnamon schnapps, with a dissolved metronidazole pill for prophylaxis …maybe a po Vanc chaser..

  • Avatar
    Faith Newton

    MD 20/20?

  • Avatar
    Jared Janelle Zotz

    Post-call scotch in styrofoam cups?

  • Avatar
    Jared Janelle Zotz

    Post-call scotch in styrofoam cups?

  • Avatar
    Rona Haertel

    My handwriting is already awful, a couple glasses of wine def not going to make it worse

  • Avatar
    Rona Haertel

    My handwriting is already awful, a couple glasses of wine def not going to make it worse

  • Avatar
    Rhonda Pollard Spellmeier

    Maybe even Absinthe!

  • Avatar
    Rhonda Pollard Spellmeier

    Maybe even Absinthe!

  • Avatar
    Karen Cusato

    Due to the heavy aroma of C. Diff. I would think something full-bodied like burgundy would pair well.

  • Avatar
    Karen Cusato

    Due to the heavy aroma of C. Diff. I would think something full-bodied like burgundy would pair well.

  • Avatar
    Jillian Barna Waterbury

    Too funny!
    I have some pairings in mind!!!

  • Avatar
    Jillian Barna Waterbury

    Too funny!
    I have some pairings in mind!!!

  • Avatar
    Stacy D’andre

    Makes for the best notes !!!

  • Avatar
    Stacy D’andre

    Makes for the best notes !!!

  • Avatar
    LeAnn Schaffitzel

    This is for you Gail Thill

  • Avatar
    LeAnn Schaffitzel

    This is for you Gail Thill

  • Avatar
    Melissa Chell Williams

    Omg!!!!!

  • Avatar
    Melissa Chell Williams

    Omg!!!!!

  • Avatar
    Ginny Moullet

    omg Dan Moullet

  • Avatar
    Ginny Moullet

    omg Dan Moullet

  • Avatar
    Karen Wood

    Oh, how I wish

  • Avatar
    Karen Wood

    Oh, how I wish

  • Avatar
    Stacy D’andre

    Melissa Chell Williams haha

  • Avatar
    Stacy D’andre

    Melissa Chell Williams haha

  • Avatar
    Janelle Whitt

    I saw this. Am thinking about Stella and charts later!

  • Avatar
    Janelle Whitt

    I saw this. Am thinking about Stella and charts later!

  • Avatar
    Rob Easton

    Susan lol

  • Avatar
    Rob Easton

    Susan lol

  • Avatar
    Jessika Stahl

    Jerry this is the blog I was talking about earlier.

  • Avatar
    Jessika Stahl

    Jerry this is the blog I was talking about earlier.

  • Avatar
    Stephanie Morton

    Taylor Halterman

  • Avatar
    Stephanie Morton

    Taylor Halterman

  • Avatar
    Sarah Morisette-Moore

    I have been known to have a beer for breakfast after a crazy night.

  • Avatar
    Sarah Morisette-Moore

    I have been known to have a beer for breakfast after a crazy night.

  • Avatar
    Maria Nikolova-Ovcharov

    :) )))

  • Avatar
    Maria Nikolova-Ovcharov

    :) )))

  • Avatar
    Terilyn Flores

    All of it!!! LOL

  • Avatar
    Terilyn Flores

    All of it!!! LOL

  • Avatar
    Rhonda Pollard Spellmeier

    What goes with C Diff?

  • Avatar
    Zach Fowler

    Janelle Whitt

  • Avatar
    Kathryn Edwards

    Erica Pelletier
    Jaime Allison Cohen

  • Avatar
    Irene McGovern

    Hang in there just a few more months!

  • Avatar
    Alyson Evans

    Sounds perfect. Riesling pairs well with dictations

  • Avatar
    Nathan Anderson

    Matthew Lenhard, you’ll appreciate this.

  • Avatar
    Amy Jones Doyle

    Gomerblog nails it every time.

  • Avatar
    Marsha Sauls Walker

    There’s a fine art to pairing wine with patients.

  • Avatar
    Ashley Ann Miller

    Lynn Ford StLouis

  • Avatar
    Amy Jones Doyle

    Christina Gindele Caro Marsha Sauls Walker

  • Avatar
    Aaron Becca Tullar

    Kimberly Stovall Shipper

  • Avatar
    Becky Schroeder

    Haley Johnson

  • Avatar
    Kaitlin Shapelow

    Kristen Boblooch Rose Meghan Schott

  • Avatar
    Karen Twigg Sagisi

    Vodka

  • Avatar
    Anne Doyle

    Shots

  • Avatar
    Ann Felauer

    Hummmmm

  • Avatar
    Caroline Herron

    Scheryll Alken

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