Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
pot of coffee

Huge-A** Pot of Coffee More Effective Than Bowel Prep for Colonoscopy

ATLANTA, GA – The American Gastroenterological Association (AGA) has told Gomerblog that drinking a huge-a** ...

pins not needles

Patient Insists It Feels Like Pins Not Needles

AUSTIN, TX – An unusual case has arisen in the Lone Star state, as ...

annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

Charting Complication: Hospitalist Develops Stage 4 Sacral Decub

BOSTON, MA – Hospitalist Sofia Candelaria was simply being a good hospitalist by spending ...

anesthesiologistanesthesiologist

Breaking: CMS Creates New Blame Anesthesia ICD-10 Codes

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) & National Center ...

Breaking: Surgeon Asks Anesthesia to Lower His Tray Table

DELTA 291 – Citing numerous reasons why he couldn’t perform the maneuver by himself, passenger ...

sleeping in

Trauma Surgeon Looks Forward to Sleeping in Until 5 AM Tomorrow

SEATTLE, WA – After what has been undoubtedly a very busy week even for ...