Dr. 99 Dr. 99

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
routine blood work urine

Routine Blood Work Comes Back Positive for Urine

LOUISVILLE, KY – Alissa Morgan returned to see her primary care doctor (PCP), Dr. ...

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline

10 Out of 10 Providers Annoyed Vaseline & Baseline Don’t Rhyme

ATLANTA, GA – Through a series of questionnaires and polls, the Centers for Disease ...

blinded by beauty

Patient Permanently Blinded by Beauty, Ophthalmology Confirms

ATLANTA, GA – In the emergency room (ER), Emory ophthalmologist Sebastian Fovea confirmed the diagnosis ...

heavenly sacral decub

Wound Care Nurse Admits Infected Sacral Decub Smells Heavenly

BIRMINGHAM, AL – UAB University Hospital’s wound care nurse Carrie Pennington was taken aback ...

kudos dog

Not Surprising at All: Hospital Administrator Has Dog Named Kudos

NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center hospital administrator Luke Moneybags confirmed with Gomerblog ...