PHILADELPHIA, PA – An attractive third-year medical student, Layla Maloney, is garnering much attention after receiving only a “high pass” in her Medicine clerkship. The news was broken Friday evening by simultaneous posts on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat by several sources close to the student, who received a pouty headshot accompanied by a sad face emoji.
“I don’t understand how this could have happened,” bellowed Layla when contacted for comment. “I did the same thing I always do: short clinic skirt, flirty text during long call, everything!”
This grade marks a departure from Ms. Maloney’s stellar academic record and extensive history of being taken out on first dates by many of her evaluators. She graduated Summa Cum Laude from Wake Forest University with a BA in Microbiology, and spent several years after college volunteering to save endangered marine species with the Peace Corps.
This surprising development comes on the heels of the high profile study published in the March edition of Science by Feldstein et al. The authors found that students that are an 8 or above on the 10-point Meyers Hotness Scale are virtually guaranteed to receive honors in every rotation, males and females included.
“The numbers speak for themselves,” said Feldstein, currently the Scarlett Johanssen Endowed Professor of Medical Education at Ohio State University. “It seems that the best predictor of medical school success is a good work ethic and some help from the parents, if you know what I mean,” added the author with an awkward wink.
The decision is currently being appealed by Ms. Maloney and a final ruling is expected from the course director by Wednesday.
The name of the PGY-3 who is responsible for the controversial evaluation is being withheld for his safety and therefore could not be reached for comment. Sources close to the situation report, however, that he does not have a date to the Stethoscope Soiree.
There are also rumors of a hot male medical student who looks like Adam Levine, who is on track to receive only a “pass” on his OB/GYN rotation. Sources close to GomerBlog believe he is on the verge of tears which is not unusual for most medical students on their OB rotation.
