rods and cones

Retina Specialist to Further Subspecialize and Focus on Cones

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NEW YORK, NY – Realizing that the ophthalmologic world of retina is still way too vast with its ten layers, retina specialist Jacob Vitreous has decided to further subspecialize by focusing not only on one of those ten layers – the photoreceptor layer – but also on a subset of cells within that layer – cones, but definitely not rods.

“I hate rods,” said Vitreous with a hint of anger.  “Peripheral vision, night vision… who cares?  I hate rods.  And not just rods in the eye either.  All rods: fishing rods, lightning rods, hot rods, and A-Rod because of the steroid thing.”

Vitreous’ decision to focus on cone cells is consistent with the trend of subspecializing seen in healthcare.  Ear, Nose & Throat (ENT) doctors are choosing to become Ear, Nose or Throat doctors.  Hand surgeons are specializing down to individual fingers.  General surgeons are training to become specific surgeons.  One New York endocrinologist has been rumored to have narrowed his focus so much that he only treats 42-year-old diabetics named Michael or Michelle.

As for Vitreous, he will need to complete another five years of fellowship on cones.  Vitreous believes that it’s the right thing for him; he thought about it long and hard.  “A good friend of mine committed to five years of rods fellowship,” he explained anecdotally.  “Four years into it, she was so upset; she realized she was a cones kind of gal.”

As you might have guessed, Vitreous loves cones.  All seven million of them.

“I mean, bright light and color vision, that’s where it’s at!” said Vitreous, his eyes wide with excitement.  “I love cones!  And not just cones in the eye either.  All cones: orange traffic cones, ice cream cones, snow cones, former Mets pitcher David Cone, the Coneheads, and even my neighbors, the Cohens.  Man, they’re such nice folk!”

There is already speculation among family, friends, and colleagues of Vitreous that if fellowship goes well, he will further specialize in left-eye cone cells.  Only time will tell.

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  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    BRyan Bae

    Zakery Zakee

  • Avatar
    Dong An

    Sorry I’m oncall for superior limbus only

  • Avatar
    Carmen Meier

    Patrick Laber

  • Avatar
    Carmen Meier

    Patrick Laber

  • Avatar
    Marc-André Martin

    Maz Chlkn

  • Avatar
    Lilly Droll Wagner

    So funny and so true!

  • Avatar
    Rocco Arcieri

    Further expanding optho specialty choices, neuro optho creates fellowship in not being able to see, my area of expertise is the blind spot

  • Avatar
    Bryan Propes

    More and more about less and less

  • Avatar
    Alicia D. Fagan

    Bryan Propes LOL

  • Avatar
    Shaheen Chowdhury

    Lol!…says the man preparing for super-specialization!

  • Avatar
    Marita Kruger

    Malcolm Naude

  • Avatar
    Evan Eckart

    No I’m on call for red cones. You’ll need to page whoever’s on call for blue cones

  • Avatar
    Sarah Khurram

    Hahahaha :-D

  • Avatar
    Hannes Kroll

    Lilly Droll Wagner

  • Avatar
    Jeff Jefferson

    Adam McLaughlin
    Melissa Ann

  • Avatar
    Ross Tekulve

    Do you have to page the rod service?

  • Avatar
    Ross Tekulve

    Do you have to page the rod service?

  • Avatar
    Eileen Left

    I should make one for ophtho

  • Avatar
    Eileen Left

    I should make one for ophtho

  • Avatar
    Eileen Left

    I’m post call and it’s early, but thanks – was your dad a microbiology teacher in Texas?

  • Avatar
    Eileen Left

    I’m post call and it’s early, but thanks – was your dad a microbiology teacher in Texas?

  • Avatar
    Steven Couch

    OpHtho

  • Avatar
    Steven Couch

    OpHtho

  • Avatar
    Doug Arenberg

    Ravi Reddy

  • Avatar
    Doug Arenberg

    Ravi Reddy

  • Avatar
    Eddie Shmukler

    Sally Primus Leslie Abrams Tobe

  • Avatar
    Eddie Shmukler

    Sally Primus Leslie Abrams Tobe

  • Avatar
    Mark D. Ehlke
  • Avatar
    Mark D. Ehlke
  • Avatar
    Amr Kouchouk

    Ha I know they are joking, but the cornea has 5 layers and there are now people who pretty much just specialize in the last two layers!!

  • Avatar
    Amr Kouchouk

    Ha I know they are joking, but the cornea has 5 layers and there are now people who pretty much just specialize in the last two layers!!

  • Avatar
    sk

    there was that ortho fellow as well specializing in the right anterior superior iliac spine

  • Avatar
    Eileen Left

    And he will refuse to do any optho trauma call

  • Avatar
    Eileen Left

    And he will refuse to do any optho trauma call

  • Avatar
    Hekmekz Arhsa

    Amr and Julia you may enjoy this!

  • Avatar
    Hekmekz Arhsa

    Amr and Julia you may enjoy this!

  • Avatar
    Steve Roshia Jr.

    A very ” colorful” read

  • Avatar
    Steve Roshia Jr.

    A very ” colorful” read

  • Avatar
    Jen Kephart

    The dress is blue and bronze !

  • Avatar
    Jen Kephart

    The dress is blue and bronze !

  • Avatar
    Mersiha Hadziahmetovic

    Bwahaah! Sarah Mirza

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