CUPERTINO, CA – The telemedicine boom is poised to become an explosion, as a new app allows smartphone users to take their own x-rays with the aid of a “selfie stick.”  The images can then be sent to a virtual physician for viewing and interpretation, who can subsequently prescribe the desired narcotic, antibiotic, or both, depending on the patient’s wishes.

The app, called “iNside Pics,” retails for $200 and converts the smartphone to a miniature and portable X-ray machine.  Each photo exposes the user to approximately 50 millirems of radiation, and after the proper image is obtained, it is converted into a high-resolution file which can be sent as a digital attachment.

The app allows the patient to include clinical correlation, as long as the phrase includes a hashtag and is less than 50 characters.  Some sample clinical correlation phrases patients have used so far include: #singletrack, #blackdiamond, #collarbone, #yolo, #bronchitissucks, #holdmybeer, #watchthis, #powderdayfail, and #toomuchfever.

On average, it took patients sixteen tries to get a typical 3-view ankle series using the new app, which equates to nearly the same radiation as an abdominal CT.  Reportedly, a specialized helical-spinning selfie stick to convert smartphones into handheld CT scanners is in the works.

Jake Ho
After 10 years spent fighting the unwinnable war that is Emergency Medicine in America, an "ER doctor" left medicine altogether and joined a Buddhist temple in Tibet, changing his name to "Jake Ho." He found the peaceful solitude he achieved to be the antithesis of years spent dealing with unreasonable requests and reprimands from patients, families, hospital administrators, and consultants. The vows of celibacy and silence he took are largely mitigated by the blogging and internet porn made possible thanks to the temple's excellent Wi-Fi connection.