* Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
** Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
*** Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo
**** New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
***** Beverage Container Left Open at Nurses Station, Three Dead as a Result
****** Nurse Has License Suspected for Ordering Wrong Sandwich
^ Naptime Now Required for Residents per ACGME Guidelines
^^ Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to be Replaced by New, Efficient “Paper Chart” System
^^^ Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest
^^^^ Patient Allergic to Epinephrine, Dies When Doctor Suddenly Slams Door
^^^^^ ICU Team Excited to Untangle Lines After Patient Dropped Off from OR
^^^^^^ Nurse Relieved to Find Out that Patient’s Family Member’s Aunt is a Nurse



  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

  • sammy

    VCO = vultures circling overhead

  • sammy

    Rule #! Gomers go to ground….:0

  • ktk

    I love “epinephrine and shocks if you can remember where they fit in the algorithm”…hhahahhahaha

  • ktk

    I assume you meant “crapped” my pants…that’s what I do, anyway…

  • ktk


  • ktk

    me too!! HILARIOUS!

  • ‘Murica! FP

    Commit to memory!

  • Steve Carroll, DO


  • Jennifer Biber

    I like the part about tangling the lines if transferring to ICU.

  • Margaret Helene O’Connor

    Before all this, ensure patient’s med rec is complete. (Remember, no care until the med rec is there!)

  • Veronica Nicole Fries

    I swear to you. They’re like snakes; weaving and undulating when us RN’s in the ED aren’t looking!!

  • Regina Hedrick Spach

    Susan Blackwell-Nichols HAHA! Love it!!!! And just so you never forget…SVT is greater than 150 bpm, and NO I do NOT want you to give that Adenosine 6mg :) Hugs!

  • Regina Hedrick Spach

    Susan Blackwell-Nichols HAHA! Love it!!!! And just so you never forget…SVT is greater than 150 bpm, and NO I do NOT want you to give that Adenosine 6mg :) Hugs!

  • Susan Blackwell-Nichols

    Regina Hedrick Spach

  • Susan Blackwell-Nichols

    Regina Hedrick Spach

  • David Burnette

    There should be something in there about the clueless person that stumbles in the room fifteen minutes into the code and asks if you’ve tried the epi yet.

  • Kimberly M. Bailey


  • Iriana Telerín

    Salomé Palmero Nuria Medina Cabrera Noelia Lafuente Pereira Judith Cabrera Rivero Cel Llns ya se actualizaron?

  • Jamie Peekaboo Santos

    I have legit seen it listed as an allergy – “tachycardia”. No shit Sherlock

  • Chance Gearheart

    But I liked AHA-sanctioned killing my patients with Epi from the 2010 guidelines. :(

  • Dede Bragg Flaherty

    I love the part when administration hands out the patient satisfaction surveys!

  • Camie Wright

    YOLO! Too funny!

  • Brett Goy

    They forgot, check to make sure drain is in place

  • John Markley

    I think the “oops I capped my pants” was accidentally left out

  • Andrew Spartz

    Bretilium (sp) was removed in 2000

  • Docta MuneerJr

    Adham Ahmed Sayed

  • Carole Bryant

    I like ” attach monitor–take selfie-post to facebook”..lol!

  • Koen Kefel

    Magali Carlier

  • Kelly Healy

    Leigh Slater

  • Angie Stratton

    Damn you open beverages!

  • Carol Keasler

    Scott Newell, Kimberly M. Bailey :)

  • Robin Fahringer Mitchell Machajewski

    “Rhythm scary? Yes = CRAP!” LOL! I would start it out as “Mutter, ‘Oh, SHIT’ under your breath and activate emergency response” – hehehe…

  • Megan Clenney Herald
  • Jessica Davis

    Epi and electricity allergies! :)

  • Mona Visnius

    Perfect! The students could use a laugh to help maintain sanity.

  • Caitlin Blanton Foxley
  • Roxie Barnes

    Ha! Mona Visnius think we need to laminate a copy of this one!!!

  • Heather Bettis

    Well as a previous article did state, as an ICU nurse I giddily await a tangled mess of lines when getting an admission. It gives me something to do.

  • Heather Bettis

    I have legitimately seen this listed as an allergy. Also versed with an “allergy” of respiratory depression.

  • Mark P Stacy

    What about post-resuscitation? We still do ice water enemas and sublingual Tic Tacs, right?

  • Kristin Blankenship

    Love this!!! So want to print it out in the ICU!! YOLo!!!

  • Cori McBride Aguilar

    Where the F is the bretylium? I swear that’s in here somewhere.

  • Diane Sparano

    I kind of want a sandwich too. Codes are hard work. They make you sweat and stuff…

  • Mackenzie Guizio-Crockett

    I see most of them shared from other people– you know the administrative cracks are the best ones. The clinical jokes are obvious right away but the things like “Charge nurse hands out satisfaction survey” or whatever it said about conducting a time out on that code algorithm… I would not be surprised if it showed up. The clipboard folks are so out of hand and I hope they read these too! Well maybe not, they may get some bright ideas, lol!

  • John Mowrey


  • Martin Valdivia

    Even with this new algorithm you have to take a recertification every two years!

  • Kirsten Ditkoff

    Bridget Ralston

  • Roxanne Mayor


  • Erin Halliburton

    Mackenzie Guizio-Crockett, do you follow this blog? Hilarious!!!!!

  • Hutch N Amanda Swafford

    Upgrade to iPhone 6 … Classic

  • James M Wilson

    Ben, Ryan, Steve, Freddie, Ben

  • Steve Batton

    Just in time for recert

  • Elaine Salmon

    Cause when you’re dead, you’re dead!

  • Nicole Jenkins

    Thanks for ensuring that the lines stay tangled for me!! It’s my favourite :-D excellent algorithm!

  • Adela Isabel Yrastorza Smith

    Applicable the 1st second of 2015 JAN

  • guest

    This algorithm seems outdated…I see no mention of twitter or instagram. Also, where do you fit in texting your friends that your patient is coding? I think hospital administrators need to have a meeting about having a meeting to update this algorithm.

  • Jennifer Bein Rowlinson

    Don’t forget to check for that Epi allergy! Reaction: makes my heart race.

  • Maryann Udy

    Kristen Glasgowyou must subscribe.

  • Ellen Deffenbaugh

    As for me, I appreciate that pt satisfaction forms have been included!!!!

  • Lora Ann Cullipher

    Freakin’ classic, once again!!

  • Lora Ann Cullipher

    So relieved to see the 42-step time-out before CPR is incorporated into the updated ACLS algorithm…We can’t have wrong-sided CPR!

  • Debbie Rowe

    This belongs on the wall in my office where I can review it daily for adequate preperation….which I am sure will meet criteria for “meaningful use!” Thanx, Gomer Blog! :D

  • Anna Quattrucci Keller

    YOLO!!! Too funny…

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