troponin leak

99% of Health Care Practitioners Have a Troponin Leak at Work

  • 4.6K
    Shares

NEW YORK, NY – Have you ever groaned because someone checked a troponin on a patient without chest pain or shortness of breath and, of course, it was elevated?  A new study in the New England Journal of Troponins (NEJT) revealed that 99% of health care practitioners are walking around with some kind of troponin leak, further supporting that pretty much anything can cause it.

“Our healthcare practitioners have some pretty wonky troponins from work alone,” said lead researcher and cardiologist Catherine Hart.  “I’m pretty sure I have a mild troponin leak when I get a consulted about a mild troponin leak.”  She did; it was 0.11.

In the NEJT study, researchers checked troponins on health care practitioners at multiple points during their work day.  Dehydration, forgetting to eat or pee, drinking coffee, having a bowel movement, hearing a request for Dilaudid, and hearing a pain score greater than 10 were common reasons for a health care practitioner to develop a leak.

“In fact, we found that a patient’s pain score divided by 100 equals their health care practitioner’s troponin level,” commented Hart, whose troponin was now 0.08.

The pager was the number one cause of troponin leaks, as well as seizures, migraines, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), in health care practitioners who carried them.  Medical students saw high troponins due to pimping.  Radiologists, microbiologists, and nocturnists developed troponin elevations in response to sunlight.

Endless documentation is another common cause of leaks.

“For those with electronic health records, staring at a computer bumps your troponin, typing bumps your troponin, and double-clicking bumps your troponin,” added Hart, whose troponin is now 0.07.  “For those with paper charts, handwriting causes troponin leaks, paper cuts cause troponin leaks, and putting the chart back in the cubby causes a troponin leak.”

Despite these study findings, Hart still cautions that there is always a time and a place when it is appropriate to check troponins.

“Of course, a classic chest pain story is one scenario,” explained Hart, who is now NPO for a stress test in the morning.  “The other scenario relates to our hardworking health care personnel in the trenches.  If that book of delivery menus goes missing, check an ECG and check a troponin right away!  TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!”

image_pdfimage_print
  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Gail Krings

    I’m sure it will be elevated!!

  • Avatar
    Gail Krings

    I’m sure it will be elevated!!

  • Avatar
    Tim Badrick

    Lindsay Andy

  • Avatar
    Tim Badrick

    Lindsay Andy

  • Avatar
    Jamie Schill

    Gail , think ours will be elevated after this full moon weekend?

  • Avatar
    Jamie Schill

    Gail , think ours will be elevated after this full moon weekend?

  • Avatar
    Tonya Rozen

    Hey, I’ve had so many heart attacks at work that I probably function on collaterals by now!

  • Avatar
    Tonya Rozen

    Hey, I’ve had so many heart attacks at work that I probably function on collaterals by now!

  • Avatar
    Chase Buehler

    Don’t forget the verbal read back

  • Avatar
    Chase Buehler

    Don’t forget the verbal read back

  • Avatar
    Patty Travels

    Finding out I have the open bed- instant leak!

  • Avatar
    Patty Travels

    Finding out I have the open bed- instant leak!

  • Avatar
    Helen Aanstoos

    Dr Oz causes full bore gushes.

  • Avatar
    Helen Aanstoos

    Dr Oz causes full bore gushes.

  • Avatar
    Terra Renee

    True story: Got a call from lab about a “critical” troponin of 0.03, followed by another call 60 seconds later informing me that the confirmation test read the level at 0.02, so I could disregard the prior “critical” result. There’s my 10/10 ass pain: responding to these phone calls for “critical” troponin results.

  • Avatar
    Terra Renee

    True story: Got a call from lab about a “critical” troponin of 0.03, followed by another call 60 seconds later informing me that the confirmation test read the level at 0.02, so I could disregard the prior “critical” result. There’s my 10/10 ass pain: responding to these phone calls for “critical” troponin results.

  • Avatar
    Kelly Doty

    Kevin

  • Avatar
    Kelly Doty

    Kevin

  • Avatar
    JamieandSam Spatz

    I bet I go into A. Flutter atleast once a shift

  • Avatar
    JamieandSam Spatz

    I bet I go into A. Flutter atleast once a shift

  • Avatar
    Dave Schwabacher

    What about causing one’s aneurysm to throb? When a surgeon tells me that they’ve been using the henweigh every day for the last 15 years and why isn’t it on the field, it makes my aneurysm grow a tiny bit more and throb.

  • Avatar
    Dave Schwabacher

    What about causing one’s aneurysm to throb? When a surgeon tells me that they’ve been using the henweigh every day for the last 15 years and why isn’t it on the field, it makes my aneurysm grow a tiny bit more and throb.

  • Avatar
    Jessica Jernberg

    Kris Simon Katie Torrance

  • Avatar
    Jessica Jernberg

    Kris Simon Katie Torrance

  • Avatar
    Stephen L. Sigal

    Sad, but true.

  • Avatar
    Stephen L. Sigal

    Sad, but true.

  • Avatar
    Sarah Brown

    Brandon – satire site but funny.

  • Avatar
    Sarah Brown

    Brandon – satire site but funny.

  • Avatar
    Ellen Ezell

    Do depends work for trop leaks too Kelley Hughes Reep

  • Avatar
    Nate Schneider

    Gina Risty, Billie Jo Grieve

  • Avatar
    Vadim Korkhov

    The number of people who make a big deal of a troponin of 0.01 is too damn high!

  • Avatar
    Alicia D. Fagan

    I get ten out of ten ass pain.

  • Avatar
    Kelley Hughes Reep

    Talk to your doctor if you suffer from troponin leaks in embarrassing situations.

  • Avatar
    Lisa Barber

    Or at least slight poop leaks!!

  • Avatar
    Christi Wise Knapp

    Definitely the pager! Pretty sure I get a little twinge of chest pain on that one, too.

  • Avatar
    Rocco Arcieri

    Oddly, most hospital and insurance executives are incapable of Troponin leak

  • Avatar
    Maria Lisa

    Hahahahah

  • Avatar
    Susan Jo

    Eric Johnson –hourly

  • Avatar
    Natalie Goforth

    Please I wpuld be a stemi

  • Avatar
    Eric Johnson

    Susan Jo this explains it all

  • Avatar
    Melva Bosquez-Pena

    A must!!

  • Avatar
    Valeska Balderas-Hayungs

    I must , at least twice per day Melva Bosquez-Pena

  • Avatar
    Shelley Lynn Strauss- Gallagher

    Word!

  • Avatar
    Ivan Scroggins

    Is that anything like a gas leak ..

  • Avatar
    Natarssha Ryland

    Tara Grady

  • Avatar
    Joni Barrow

    Stephen L. Sigal thought you might enjoy this one!

  • Avatar
    Nicole Meyer Papermaster

    Maria Lisa Bahahaha!!!

  • Avatar
    Chananya Goldman

    Truth

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

doctors teaching

GomerBlog’s Exhaustive List on How to Survive Internship

315SharesWant to survive Internship? Follow these simple guidelines for success!! Page your attending and ...

Laparoscopic surgery

Flatulence to Blame for Failed Laparoscopic Procedure

219SharesIOWA CITY, IA – Yesterday was a typical operating day at Holy Cross Hospital ...

nursing home accident

Octogenarian Ejected in Grisly Power-Chair Accident

165SharesBRADENTON, FL – The dining room at Shady Village Retirement Center was a hellish scene of ...