medical pager

Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager

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You and your pager have likely formed a long and memorable relationship together while sitting on your hip.  Over time the initial lust may wear off.  Here are 10 signs that it may be time to move on:

10. She wakes you up dozens of times each night, asking for Colace.
09. His vibrations just don’t thrill you the way they used to.
08. You feel the urge to get a new pager on the first day of each month.
07. Go on any trip and he just gives you the silent treatment.
06. Everyone in the hospital has her number…
05. You’ve thought about throwing him out of a window, yelling, “You made me do this to you!”
04.  Sometimes you hear her yelling at you when she’s not even around!
03. She hasn’t aged at all since 1988… and you somehow find this unattractive.
02. You get more of a thrill turning him off, than turning him on.
01.  Your pager loves to interrupt you peeing.

Dr. 99 went even further and broke down pager anatomy to help explain relationship issues with pagers:

Photo courtesy of Dr. 99.

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Arlin Chin

    #6,4, & 1

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    Annabelle Maclure

    Too true Sharella D’Souza!

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    Michael K. Williams

    Put the thing in a paper bag. Buy a hammer. Flatten bag, completely.

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    Heather Murdoch

    When I first started working at a hospital in the early 2000’s I couldn’t believe they still used pagers. Sadly all the pagers looked exactly like this in varying degrees of distress….

  • Avatar
    Sharella D’Souza

    Annabelle Maclure

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    Spike Ele

    Is it sad that is nearly what my pager in middle school looked like?

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    Ivelisse Sanchez

    Laura Hackel Berryman

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    Claire Luckensmeyer Brown

    Pager and phone…the bane of my existence!!

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    Lisa Barber

    One of our old night shift supervisors “regularly accidentally” flushed the pager down the toilet!! I sus pect it was not so accidental! LOL

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    Lisa Barber

    Love it!!

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    Georgianna Ainslie

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha! I call mine my ‘umbilical cord’ (I’m a nurse-midwife) – someday I’m gonna cut that cord for good!

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    Zane Moore

    I lost my pager today. I’m happy and sad at the same time. I still have my call pager to keep me company!

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    Wendie Simonson

    I get to carry a phone. Think a pager is bad when on the toilet?? Try a phone!!! LMAO!

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    Kristin Moudry

    Cassie Raney Clark

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    Candy Gehm Carter

    Best day at work was when I accidentally flushed my pager down the commode while helping a patient!

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