Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager

You and your pager have likely formed a long and memorable relationship together while sitting on your hip.  Over time the initial lust may wear off.  Here are 10 signs that it may be time to move on:

10. She wakes you up dozens of times each night, asking for Colace.
09. His vibrations just don’t thrill you the way they used to.
08. You feel the urge to get a new pager on the first day of each month.
07. Go on any trip and he just gives you the silent treatment.
06. Everyone in the hospital has her number…
05. You’ve thought about throwing him out of a window, yelling, “You made me do this to you!”
04.  Sometimes you hear her yelling at you when she’s not even around!
03. She hasn’t aged at all since 1988… and you somehow find this unattractive.
02. You get more of a thrill turning him off, than turning him on.
01.  Your pager loves to interrupt you peeing.

Dr. 99 went even further and broke down pager anatomy to help explain relationship issues with pagers:

Photo courtesy of Dr. 99.