‘Toodles’ Purchased from Disney by Medtronic, OR Complications Hit All-Time Low

ORLANDO, CA – Medical device giant Medtronic pulled off a risky, but fatefully brilliant move recently.  For $1.2 billion dollars, the company purchased the “Toodles” device of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse fame from Disney to be used in the operating room.

toodles helping in the hospital“We weren’t sure what was going to happen,” said Stan Markovich, CEO.  “We just knew that little guy was always so damn helpful to Mickey and the gang we thought, ‘Hey, wouldn’t that be nice in the OR?’”

It turns out they were right.  His first test run was during an emergent exploratory laparotomy on a trauma patient.  Vitals were tanking and a frustrated surgeon yelled, “Oh, Toodles!” and the device came out of nowhere with some sterile vessel clamps and more units of blood.  When asked for a second time, he gently inserted a ham sandwich under the surgeon’s mask, critically reversing his hypoglycemia. It even turned out the day’s mystery Mousketool was an extra bottle of propofol just when anesthesia was running low.

“The patient stabilized, we all did the ‘Hot Dog Dance,’ and then [Toodles] just sort of flew away,” said scrub tech Genie Thomas.

Toodles has been tested in the ED to quickly serve patients as well, but this was less successful as the device’s software has trouble interpreting “that drug that starts with a D…