Dr. Will Chou, a graduating internal medicine resident, perfected his time management skills and was able to locate every single attending in his department and give them a flying middle finger to their face in record time today.
“Oh it was glorious!” stated Chou. “I brown nosed so much gluteus maximus in the past 3 years, I felt like I needed a colon cleanout myself. The only thing that kept me going was my plan to flick off everyone, and I mean everyone in my department!”
“I couldn’t get over the precision he displayed,” the perplexed program director Dr. Samantha Willows elaborated. “This display of flicking off must have been in the planning phase for years. He literally knew where to find every attending from offices, to small pockets in the hospitals, to cafeterias, to even bathrooms. It appears that he flicked off all 56 staff in just 3 minutes and 24 seconds before sprinting away….simply incredible.”
Several nurses on the wards were extremely impressed with the flow of the finger and how close it got to each attending’s face without actually touching. “The way he spun his hand around while extending his middle finger was simply beautiful to watch,” nurse Tammy Watkers stated. “He inspired me… I want to perfect the flicking off, the emotion – just everything about it. I want that power for when hospital administrators come lurking.”
Not being able to hurt Chou anymore, the attendings plan to take out their anger on the upcoming senior residents by forcing them to round 60 minutes earlier while introducing shock therapy for incompetence and wrong answers.