BOSTON, MA – After “sensing something strange in my mind” for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has officially confirmed with Gomerblog that the “situation is serious” and “that girl is poison.” (“POISON!” one of his colleagues was heard saying in the background.) Rigorous testing, with the assistance of the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, noted that “miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move, you’re dead.” An effective antidote has yet to be developed, which is why Dr. DeVoe has been repeatedly pleading with Congress, “Let’s cure it ’cause we’re running out of time” and “Yeah mm mm it’s all so deadly.” Asked what preventative measures might be taken, Dr. DeVoe said without hesitation, “If I were you I’d take precaution… Never trust a big butt and smile.” For more information, Dr. DeVoe recommends visiting Dr. Mix-a-Lot’s medical blog.
