Spock Star Trek

Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”

  • 315

STARFLEET – Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise has informed Gomerblog that he finds his patient’s demands for Dilaudid and other narcotics “highly illogical.”

Spock Star Trek
Mr. Spock unamused by these drug seekers.

He confided to both Captain James T. Kirk and Dr. “Bones” McCoy that Mr. Jim Redshirt “isn’t writhing in pain, is laughing while texting on his cell phone, and seems to be ingesting his double portions with adequacy” so his request for such a highly-potent narcotic seems “inconsistent” with his appearance at best.

Redshirt got increasingly aggravated towards all three when he realized something was amiss.  Captain Kirk suggested that Bones give in to what Redshirt ordered despite Spock’s astute observations.

“Damn it Jim, I’m a doctor, not a waiter,” responded an angry Dr. McCoy, siding with Spock.

Just then, Redshirt starting cursing and lunging at Dr. McCoy.  Thankfully, Spock calmed Redshirt down with something more powerful than an Ativan diffuser and Haldol blowdart combined: the Vulcan nerve pinch.

“Thank you, Mr. Spock,” breathed a relieved Captain Kirk, just as Sulu walked into the room.  “Mr. Sulu, please discharge this man.  Warp speed.”

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Child Aspires to Be Burnt-Out Physician When She Grows Up

10.8KSharesCHICAGO, IL — Peggy Cheng had just graduated from first grade this summer when ...

Anesthesiologist and Surgeon Can’t Agree on Patient’s Care by Midnight Deadline, Hospital Shutdown Ensues

428SharesROANOKE, VA – Dr. Foster was experiencing some bleeding during his right hemicolectomy.  He asked, “What ...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

14KSharesVALHALLA, NY – Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet ...

Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General

15.2KSharesWASHINGTON, D.C. – At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that ...