Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead

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MUNICH, GERMANY – German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight.  After decades of purporting the theory that we should just “blame it on the rain,” Milli Vanilli has reversed course, arguing that we should no longer place the blame on precipitation but on Anesthesia instead.

“We knew we had a potential hit when we wrote it,” reminisced surviving member of the duo Fab Morvan on the 1989 song release of “Blame It on the Rain.”  “In our heart of hearts we really wanted to blame Anesthesia, but not a lot of words rhymed.  We made a decision and we went with rain instead.  You can rhyme a lot of words with rain.”

Though the song reached No. 1 on the Billboard Top 100, the meaning didn’t sit right with listeners.  “There are several reasons to love the rain: it’s cleansing, it allows life to grow.  Even Ortho likes to take walks in it.  Rain is water, and water is essential to life.  So as catchy as their song was, it just didn’t make sense to not blame Anesthesia,” said Simon Mallampati, a music critic who writes for Pitchfork.  “I think we’re all relieved Milli Vanilli came out to set the record straight.”

When Gomerblog asked about his feelings on Anesthesia, Mallampati started fuming.  “Anesthesia,” he grumbled.  “F**king anesthesia.”  Mallampati went on to say amidst a chorus of inappropriate cursing that if Anesthesia was an album, he would have crushed them with a 0 out of 10 review.

Morvan can feel the weight lifted off of his chest.  “Any time you listen to that song, I want you to realize who we were really blaming instead,” Morvan told Gomerblog.  “While we’re on the subject, that whole lip-syncing fiasco at the Grammys?  Yeah, that’s on Anesthesia too, those bastards.  Can’t believe they did that to us!”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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