oxidative phosphorylation

Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now

  • 576
oxidative phosphorylation
Don’t be fooled: the bright colors mask the bullsh*t.

LAS VEGAS, NV – Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying gunner of all-time, this time by choosing to give her Medicine team a PowerPoint presentation on oxidative phosphorylation.  You read that right: OXIDATIVE PHOSPHORYF**KINGLATION.

“Dear God up in heaven, what did I do to deserve this student on my team?!” implored medicine attending Jeremy Heller, now suffering from PTSD.  “I’ve desperately tried not to think about biochemistry for three decades now.  But guess what?  You had to give me the f**kin’ Snout.  I beg you, kill me now.”  Heller stood there silently with eyes closed, his peaceful face tilted towards the clouds, waiting for a bolt of lightning bolt to take him down.

If anyone gives a hoot, oxidative phosphorylation yields 30 to 36 ATP.  Yeah, we don’t care either.

The third-year resident on the team, Gillian Reinhart, is a little more forgiving of Weaselsnout-Jones’ transgressions but understands her attending physician’s frustrations.  “ATP in aerobic organisms is good and all, and mitochondria are even a little sexy,” Reinhart admitted.  “But giving this talk at bedside, during a family meeting on code status no less, is probably poor form.  There is a time and place.”

Heller vehemently disagrees.  “There’s never a time or a place for this nonsense.  Keep it to yourself!”  Gomerblog confirms that Heller “can’t wait” to start working on Weaselsnout-Jones’ evaluation.  “I look forward to expending a ton of ATP to write up this one.”

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds

169SharesCHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient ...

Hospitals Unleash New, Brutally Honest Slogans

6.9KSharesNEW YORK, NY – Forget the days of the compassionate and uplifting slogans like ...

dr. oz

Dr. Oz releases new self-help book entitled “You: The Malingerer”

506SharesIn a bid to expand his clientele beyond weight conscious, measles-loving middle aged women, ...


Surgeon Sends Lunch for Frozen Section

2.9KSharesSAN FRANCISCO, CA – After visiting the hospital’s cafeteria, Dr. Jason Greene seated himself in ...