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zodiac sign Cancer
Hopefully Cancer isn’t infected with crabs

THE SKY ABOVE – Cancer, one of the twelve constellations of the zodiac, is undergoing its first round of chemotherapy at Beta Cancri Medical Center this morning and is reportedly in good spirits and tolerating it well with minimal side effects.

“I want to thank the other constellations, in particular Taurus, Scorpio, and Virgo, for their love, support, and compatibility,” stated the medium-sized constellation, which is bordered by Lynx to the north, Hydra to the south, Leo to the east, and Gemini to the west.  “I also want to thank Aquarius, Libra, and Gemini.  Normally we’re not all that compatible but they’ve been nothing but the best cheerleaders on my side.”

Cancer, currently known as the dimmest of the constellations, is optimistic that treatment will be curative and looks forward to being renamed “Cancer-Free.”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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