• 4
    Shares

DENVER, COChipotle admittedly had a rough 2016 but was surprised to see its customers stay loyal to the brand.  Realizing they can really get away with anything, Chipotle has released its new foodborne-illness menu, advertising that it is “Reasonably Contagious.”  Gomerblog has tried them all and we can say, equivocally, that you will become best friends with your toilet.  Though they have not yet released a formal statement, expect the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to recommend, at the bare minimum, to don airborne and contact precautions when entering the beloved taco-and-burrito chain.  Here’s the new menu (click each picture to enlarge):

Chipotle foodborne-illness menu

 

Chipotle foodborne-illness menu

  • 4
    Shares
Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.