GOMERBLOG HQ – It was announced earlier today that OJ Simpson was being released from prison after a 9-year sentence for stealing sports memorabilia. Coincidentally, 33-year-old neurosurgery resident Carson Harry was also released from prison after completing his training at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. “OJ basically did a neurosurgery residency with a couple of fellowships,” said Harry, clearly unimpressed by the former NFL star’s stint in federal prison.
Although conditions in a federal penitentiary are notoriously difficult, reports suggest the life of a neurosurgery resident is just as, if not more, demanding. “Neurosurgery training is a lot like prison, except there’s way more psychological abuse,” reported Harry.
Harry went on to complain about the terrible hospital food, a call room that was smaller than a prison cell, and long work hours. Reports also suggest Harry saw his family much less during his training than OJ, a man who was once on trial for murdering two people. “I should have gone to prison,” muttered Harry, frustrated by the superior quality of life afforded to incarcerated individuals. “I forgot what my children looked like.”
Both men will be enjoying their new found freedom. OJ will be able to do anything he wants, while Harry will be working 100 hours per week trying to pay back the student loans he acquired prior to beginning his prison stretch. During the interview, it dawned on Harry that, as opposed to a convicted felon, he paid over 300K dollars so he could be sent to maximum security residency at Mayo Clinic.