Nick Saban Okays IV Benadryl to Treat Tonight’s Healthy Scratches

  • 102

TUSCALOOSA, AL – Giving the official blessing and go-ahead to his University of Alabama sports medicine staff, Nick Saban has okayed the use of IV Benadryl (diphenhydramine) to help treat several of his players who are listed as healthy scratches for tonight’s game against the Arkansas Razorbacks.

“If there’s one thing about healthy scratches it’s that they can get awfully itchy,” said Head Football Athletic Trainer Jeff Allen, “and that’s before these players get onto the field and start sweating profusely, which must make the scratching and itchiness much, much worse.  Thank goodness for IV Benadryl, what’s the worst thing that can happen?”

It should make for an exciting game tonight, with kickoff in just a few minutes, though Saban is now worried about why his healthy scratches are passed out, snoring on the sidelines.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

hospital operator code blue microphone

Hospital Operator Fired for Relaying “Code Brown”

195SharesNEW JERSEY – 27-year-old hospital operator, Jeremy Dickerson, was fired last week after accidentally relaying ...

An Internist’s Guide to the Description of Rashes

5.5KSharesDermatologic conditions and rashes can be hard to describe.  Don’t have time to refresh ...

MICU surprised

No Neurology Consult: MICU Intern Startles All

879SharesPHILADELPHIA, PA – During their daily rounds on all the patients with altered mental ...