ROCKFORD, IL – One local gastroenterology group is at wit’s end as they realize that today is once again going to be like any other. Why? Because their GI lab, once again, is full of a**holes today.
“So… many… a**holes…” said gastroenterologist Sumana Shah, rubbing her eyes from utter exhaustion from seeing just one too many you-know-what. “Why did I choose this career? Every second of every minute of every day is evaluating one a**hole after another. Maybe once in a while we get a nice guy who needs an EGD only. But that’s the exception to the rule. After so many a**holes, it wears on you.”
For this particular GI group, who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of attracting more a**holes than they can handle, today makes 5,142 consecutive days of their GI lab containing at least one a**hole.
“Yes, I think about quitting all the time,” said Shah, putting on yet another glove to invade yet another a**hole. “Not only do you have to say hi to the a**holes, but then you have examine and scope them. UGH!”
But through all of this, Shah admits there has been one silver lining.
“We’ve received a tremendous outpouring of support from pulmonologists and urologists ever since we voiced our daily frustrations,” said Shah, as she pulled up and showed us a few handwritten cards that she placed on her desk and around the clinic for encouragement. “This lung doctor named Raymond Winters wrote, ‘Stay strong, we know what it’s like: all we see every day are SOBs.’ And then this one, I like this one, that a urologist wrote: ‘Know that you’re not alone: my clinic is full of dicks. Real dicks.”