urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

  • 1.5K
    Shares
urine urinating eyeballs Lasix
Tears of pee

LOUISVILLE, KY – After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest to her that she is not only adequately urinating from her urethra but her eyeballs and nostrils as well.

“I’ve been racing to the toilet every 10 minutes, peeing like a racehorse,” commented O’Rourke, who is an owner of thoroughbreds so can accurately make that comparison.  “What I didn’t expect was the Lasix to cause me to cough and cry urine as well.  It’s weird wiping urine from my eyes and mouth.  But I guess that’s normal, right?”

Lasix is a loop diuretic that causes diuresis by decreasing the reabsorption of sodium at the loop of Henle in kidneys.  “What most people don’t know,” said University of Kentucky cardiologist Robert Beckett, “is that at high enough doses it can cause urine output from other organs, which include but are not limited to the oropharynx, vagina, rectum, and umbilicus.”

O’Rourke finds that the total urine output from her glands and orifices is helping improve her shortness of breath and edema, though the “sneezing, sh*tting, or sweating” of clear-to-yellow urine still remains disturbing.

image_pdfimage_print
  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

You May Also Like

Emergency Room Bingo!

4KSharesGetting burned out working in the ED?  Make sure to pull out your ED ...

border drape wall

Trump: Anesthesiology Will Build Border Drape Wall & Pay for It

4.9KSharesWASHINGTON, D.C. – Publicly acknowledging that efforts to build a border wall and have ...

afternoon after

FDA Approves Afternoon-After Pill

82SharesINTERCOURSE, PA – “Let’s face it: no one is getting up in the morning after an ...

86-Year-Old Man Finally Passes Swallowed Gum from Childhood

264SharesCINCINNATI, OH – Last Tuesday, against all odds, 86-year-old Gerald Reynolds, finally passed gum ...