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Orthopaedic Surgeons in Minnesota Bracing for Landslide of Injuries from Vikings Fans Jumping Off Bandwagon

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Following the Vikings loss this weekend, orthopaedic surgeons in the greater Twin Cities area are standing by for an influx of lower extremity injuries as countless fans jump off of the Vikings bandwagon.

The amazing run the Minnesota Vikings were able to put together after knocking Aaron Rodgers out early this season has brought out even the most fair-weather Vikings fans.  The Vikings bandwagon hadn’t seen this much activity since the Vikings last NFC Championship loss in 2009.

By halftime with their newly beloved Vikings down by 17 points, several Vikings fans started jumping off the bandwagon sustaining assorted ankle and knee sprains.  When the Vikings went down 31 late in the game, fans were jumping off the bandwagon like lemmings off a cliff.

Early reports indicate at least 2,000 ankle fractures, 1500 distal radius fractures, several dozen hip fractures and 250 ACL tears sustained by fans jumping off of the bandwagon.  Several fans successfully jumped off of the bandwagon injury-free only to tear their rotator cuffs ripping off their Vikings jerseys and donning their Patriots jerseys in rapid fashion.

Local orthopaedic surgeon, Bryan Fadder, said he has mixed emotions.  “As a Vikings fan, I’m sad but as an orthopaedic surgeon on the verge of a financial windfall I’m happy.  I’ll miss my family while I’m fixing all the bandwagon exodus injuries but I’ll make it up to them with tickets to Vikings games this fall.  Ideally early in the season when they’re usually in contention.”

Longtime Vikings fan Chadwick Powers looks forward to the extra space on the Vikings bandwagon.  “Usually the bandwagon fans start jumping off in late October or early November.  Occasionally they stay on until early to mid-December but this has been nuts.”

Fadder said the late-season evacuation carries extra risk in Minnesota.  “This time of year there is ice which makes it all the more dangerous to be jumping off the bandwagon especially in rapid fashion in large groups.”

  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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