blinded by beauty

Patient Permanently Blinded by Beauty, Ophthalmology Confirms

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ATLANTA, GA – In the emergency room (ER), Emory ophthalmologist Sebastian Fovea confirmed the diagnosis and broke the news to his patient Arnav Patel, who knew what was coming: “I’m sorry.  You have been blinded by beauty.”

blinded by beauty
She was breathtaking indeed

Patel tells Gomerblog his story.

“It happened earlier this morning,” he began.  “I went to my favorite coffee shop, you know, to get my morning caffeine fix and try to catch up on emails.  Maybe after 20 minutes, I saw her out of the corner of my eye.  A young woman, beautiful, she might have been the most stunning person I’ve ever seen.  She looked at me and smiled, and that’s when it happened: I lost my vision.”

Patel had always heard of the phrase being “blinded by beauty,” but assumed it was a figurative saying.

“I could feel what I thought were tears pouring down my face,” Patel continued.  “Mind you, I couldn’t see any more.  Others in the coffee shop screamed, saying my eyes were bleeding.  They called an ambulance, and the paramedics told me that the whites of my eyes were no more, that there were just raw empty spaces where my eyes used to me.  One of the paramedics said that the wetness I was feeling on my clothes wasn’t coffee spilled amidst the panic; it was aqueous humor.”

He was taken to the ER where Fovea was called to evaluate.

“Yeah, it was kind of gruesome,” said Fovea while peeling off his gloves caked with liquified ocular ooze.  “Not only was he blinded by beauty, it caused his eyes to explode, hemorrhage, and liquify.  Poor guy even sustained bilateral orbital floor fractures.  She must’ve been a knockout.”

In other news, Patel has confided to the ER staff that the same coffee-shop girl caused his “heart to skip a beat.”  Cardiology has been consulted and will take the patient for cardiac catheterization.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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