What Do Neurologists Really Put in Those Black Bags?

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neurologist's black bag black bags
Is there a medical student in there?

It’s a curious thing that we’ve all seen: neurologists going to the office or making the rounds with their leather black bags in tow.  What’s in those darned little bags?  Neurologists appear attached to them as if they were placentas.  They’re pretty big too, you’d think there’s at least one med student in there.  Well, wonder no more, Gomerblog has the answer to your question.  How?  Well, we stole one and quickly went through its contents.  Shhh, don’t tell anyone.

Here’s what we found:

– Reflex hammer
Regular hammer
– Reflex hacksaw
– Reflex level
Tuning fork
– Tuning spoon
– Tuning knife
– Tuning spatula
– Regular fork
– Regular spoon
– Regular knife
– Regular spatula
– Full-body onesie with dermatomes printed on it
– Penlight
– Lamp
– Tongue depressor, new
Tongue depressor, used
– Tongue elevator
– Cheetos
– Ophthalmoscope
– Otoscope
– Stethoscope
– Telescope
– Horoscope
– 10-gram monofilament
– 10-gram polyfilament
– 10-ton monofilament
– Two-point discriminator
– Thirty-point discriminator
– Safety pins
– Paper clips
– Stapler
– Three-hole puncher
– Four-hole puncher
– Spinal needle
– Tennis ball
– Medicine ball
– Exam table
– Tilt table
– Cot with pillows and blankets
– Portable MRI machine
– Portable MRI tech
– Neurology textbook
– Another neurologist for easy access to a second opinion
– Alcohol wipes
– Alcohol
– Another black bag in the case the original one breaks

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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