drape first class coach
drape first class coach
“Is someone bleeding on this flight?”

DELTA 2350 – Unable to resist the temptation any longer, passenger and anesthesiologist Ryan Grossman delved into his carry-on bag, took out a freshly-pressed drape, and proceeded to place it between first class and coach.

“There we go,” Grossman said out loud to no one in particular, “now first class can’t see coach and coach can’t see first class.”  He breathed a sigh of relief.

Anesthesiologists by trade are afraid of surgeons and really any other human subtype that occupies the operating room.  However, ever since the beginning of time, anesthesiologists have always been fond of fabric and pillow forts, so it was only a matter of time that they would use the drape to shield them from the scowling glances of sleep-deprived surgeons and other medical personnel.  The drape is Anesthesia’s work blankie.

“It was a win-win situation, because we got to play with fabric and also protect ourselves from the big bad butchers,” Grossman explained to Gomerblog.  “If they can’t see us, they can’t hurt us.  It’s true.”

Grossman sensed the immense tension between the two compartments of his Boeing airplane, so before the captain could ask if there was a doctor on board, he sprung into action and skillfully placed the drape, keeping the two sections apart until the conclusion of the flight.

“That is one beautiful drape, if I do say so myself, barely any wrinkles,” explained Grossman.  He pulled out a Sudoku to celebrate, even moaned a little bit.  “You know how in old movies people would smoke after sleeping together?  Well, for me, after a good drape placement, there’s nothing better than a good Sudoku.”

Unfortunately, Grossman wasn’t able to enjoy his Sudoku to completion.  Twenty minutes into the flight, a general surgeon also on board Delta 2350, Dr. Gerald Organ-Butcher, asked Anesthesia to scratch his itch as mandated by law.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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