ASHEVILLE, NC – In breaking news to Gomerblog this morning, an extremely embarrassed physical therapist Alvin Guzman has been caught red-handed this morning taking the elevator only one flight down from the second floor to the first. This astonishing development has rocked the world of physical therapy.
“I was in the elevator at about 8:30 AM when Alvin stepped in, and he looked startled, as if I wasn’t supposed to be in there,” said occupational therapist Rhonda Phelps, who was quick to point out that she was taking the elevator down from the sixteenth floor to the basement. “He stared at the floor buttons for a a few seconds, hesitating since he knew I was silently judging him, before he finally pressed the “1” button. I couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me after that.”
Well before lunchtime, the entire hospital was gossiping about “Lazy Al.”
“He’s a physical therapist, for Pete’s sake, shouldn’t he be more… physical?” asked charge nurse Amanda Rogers, who told Gomerblog that she walked up eight flights of stairs just now even though we didn’t ask her.
“What’s particularly baffling,” added Phelps, “is that he wasn’t carrying any equipment: no walker, nothing. Just his shameful, solo self.”
To further add to the hysteria, rumors have been circulating over the past hour that Guzman has just walked up thirteen flights of stairs up to the fourteenth floor, completely throwing everyone for a loop. The general consensus now is if Psychiatry needs to be consulted for decision-making capacity.
“I mean, elevator down one flight, but walk up thirteen, who does that?” asked hospitalist James Han. “That’s just downright inconsistent. Do I take the stairs? Hell no! I always take the elevator, doesn’t matter what direction, how many flights. Lazy? Yes, but hey, at least I’m consistent that must count for something.”
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