Hypocrite: Dermatologist Went to Nude Beach Without Sunscreen

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OCHO RIOS, JAMAICA – The American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) is in crisis mode after Florida-based dermatologist Phoenix Bridgers was spotted on a nude beach in Jamaica without any clothes or sunscreen, officially earning him the label of hypocrite.

hypocriteBridgers confirmed the news at a conference earlier today.

“I am deeply disappointed in my actions today, and all I can say is that I am sorry,” Bridgers apologized, pausing occasionally to wipe tears from his eyes.  He appeared sincere in his sentiments.  “I have no excuses and I cannot begin to understand what came over me to act so irresponsibly.”

He continued: “There I stood without any clothes, sunglasses, or hat, without any sunscreen, absolutely no skin protection while the 98-degree sun blazed down on my epidermis.  I want to apologize to those whom I have hurt: my friends, my family, my patients, my fellow dermatologists, and, most importantly, my own skin.”

When asked if he thought he was deserving of the label of hypocrite, Bridgers said it’s hard to argue he isn’t one, and that is one bitter pill to swallow.

Like many if not all dermatologists, Bridgers always preached on the importance of protecting your skin from the sun, which is why the news has shaken both the world of dermatology and patients in his dermatologic clinic.

“I can’t think of a time when he didn’t remind me to wear a hat, sunglasses, and sunscreen with a SPF of at least 30.  He always said to wear long sleeves and pants and to always seek shade between hours of peak sun, from late morning until the later afternoon,” explained Maxine Richter, a long-time patient of Bridgers.  “Now to see him naked on a Caribbean beach, completely disregarding his own advice, it’s disappointing to say the least.”

Gomerblog has just been given an anonymous tip that an American radiologist has been spotted on the same nude beach actually enjoying the sunlight without spontaneously combusting.  We will update you as more details come in.

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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