Mario mushroom 27 bones

Endocrinologist: Small Mario Suffering from Mushroom Deficiency

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Mario mushroom
Maybe I should just find them at a Whole Foods

WORLD 1-1 – Problem solved: After a battery of tests (including colonoscopy), an endocrinologist at World 1-1 Medical Center has discovered and informed Small Mario that his small stature is the result of severe mushroom deficiency.

“Mario thought he had some sort of hormone deficiency, but it turns out his serum 25-hydroxymushroom levels were extremely low,” said endocrinologist Dr. Yoshi.  “I told him to find some mushrooms as quickly as possible.”

Mario asked if he should just run to the nearest Whole Foods, but Dr. Yoshi insisted it would be easier to find some overhead Question Mark bricks and smash his skull into them repeatedly in the hopes one turns up.

“The mushroom should have a pink or light-brown cap with red spots,” Dr. Yoshi told Mario, “and it should be roughly your height and twice your body weight.”  Dr. Yoshi added that Mario didn’t even have to eat it, he could simply walk into it and his body would ingest it in no time, assuming he could chase it down without getting killed by tortoises in the process.

Mario left his appointment extremely excited.  “Mushroom deficiency is curable.  Apparently not only will I double in size once I find a mushroom, but so will my hat and clothes.  I don’t make too much money as a plumber.  I’m so happy I don’t have to spent it on bigger clothes!”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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