A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Use Incentive Spirometers (or Marijuana)

incentive spirometer
“Woooooaaaaahhhhh…”

Is this your first time using an incentive spirometer (or marijuana)?  Well, you’re in luck: our Gomerblog team has created this easy 15-step process to using your incentive spirometer (or weed).  Don’t be intimidated, it’s really easy (awesome) so let’s get started (stoned)!

STEP 01: Sit upright (or not).

STEP 02: Hold the incentive spirometer (joint) in an upright position.

STEP 03: Thank your nurse (weedman) for the incentive spirometer (weed).

STEP 04: Queue Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd (or Physical Graffiti by Led Zeppelin).

STEP 05: Seal your lips tightly around the mouthpiece (joint or bong).

STEP 06: Breath in slowly and as deeply as possible.

STEP 07: Watch the piston (strobe light) rise up (turn on and off).

STEP 08: Hold your breath as long as possible.

STEP 09: Exhale slowly.

STEP 10: Rest for a few seconds before repeating 10 times an hour.

STEP 11: After every 10 breaths, cough.  This will happen whether you like it or not.

STEP 12: Address the munchies.

STEP 13: Stop acting paranoid, it’ll be fine.

STEP 14: Seriously, calm down, no one is after you.

STEP 15: That’s just your nurse, she’s not a cop, okay?!  CALM DOWN!!