TLC

Sign Out: Patient Just Needs a Little TLC

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ATLANTA, GA – A patient is transferring out of the medical intensive care unit today and, according to the MICU team, “just needs a little TLC” before being discharged home.

TLC
TLC Rozonda Chili Thomas, Tionne T-Boz Watkins & Lisa Left Eye Lopes at Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards, 1999 (Everett Collection / Shutterstock.com)

“Say no more,” said hospitalist Dr. Evelyn Prince, who believes the best intervention any Atlanta-based health care professional can provide for their patients is a regular regimen of TLC’s 1994 masterpiece CrazySexyCool, featuring Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, and Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas.

Prince recommends listening to the album at least twice daily.

“After the patient listens to the album for the first time,” Prince continued with a smile, “I like to pop my head in and say ‘Let’s Do It Again’.”

According to our medicine & music experts at Gomerblog, no infection or malady can’t be undone with this R&B album. In fact, several studies have shown that the combination of tracks “Diggin’ on You” & “Waterfalls” is ten times more effective than the combination of antibiotics vancomycin & Zosyn.

Conclusion: Everyone needs a little TLC.

In related news, if any of our fellow health care professionals need new scrubs, you can find them hangin’ out the passenger side, of his best friend’s ride, tryin’ to holler at me.

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  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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