Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected

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BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in the arms of OR Nurse D’nica Gurley. Nairbear was an apparent victim of aerosolized fentanyl just like many law enforcement professionals across the country.

When he awoke, Dr. Nairbear declared “It’s that damn fentanyl! I saw the CRNA open a syringe of it right before I fainted!”

“Why am I the only one feeling lightheaded in here?!?!”

A peculiar aspect of this “fentanyl exposure” much like many others reported in the media is how only 1 individual out of several in the same confined space had symptoms. The resident, scrub nurse, CRNA, Stryker rep, and fellow in the room had zero symptoms despite breathing the same “aerosolized fentanyl” contaminated air.

Renowned toxicologist, fentanyl aerosol exposure denier and logical thinker Dr. Ryan Marino agreed to be interviewed about his thoughts on the subject.  “Fentanyl toxicity cannot occur through aerosolized means unless a kilo of fentanyl was ground up and blown directly into the nostrils. I’ve done the experiments.”

When asked why none of the other 5 people in the OR had symptoms, Dr. Nairbear was indignant, “Well they clearly didn’t inhale as much as I did, clearly the fentanyl was directed right at me due to my superior breathing!”

Gomerblog later learned that Dr. Nairbear hadn’t eaten in 17 hours prior to his syncopal episode as he was preparing for a beach vacation. 

  • Naan DerThaal

    A high school classmate of the lesser 3/5 of N’Sync, Naan DerThaal spent a number of years mired in mediocrity before finding his true calling, writing snarky anonymous internet commentary. He is a multi-time participation trophy recipient in Little League Baseball and has appeared on TV numerous times in the background of sporting events. He enjoys head-butting Lionfish and wrestling seasnakes in his free time and can often be seen dragging a mallet around the hospital. Follow him on Twitter @NaanDerthaal

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