PORTLAND, ME – Tucked away in a Holiday Inn Express parking lot, a truck full of 75 elite special-ops Stryker reps dubbed the “Bone Berets” are sitting, waiting to ambush the next orthopod who passes by.
According to a brave Gomerblog spy in close proximity to the truck, the Bone Berets plan to initially pelt the next unsuspecting orthopedic surgeon with bags of Stryker Surgical Snacks before bombarding them with a follow-up barrage of knee and hip implants.
“They won’t know what hit’em, they absolutely won’t know what hit’em!” exclaimed one Stryker rep simply known as Lisfranc Alpha, pumping up his special reps unit as if entering into battle. “We will overwhelm them with our Hoffmans and Fixos!”
Soon after, all of the Stryker reps huddled around, their gloved hands atop one another in the middle. “1-2-3, Stryker!!!” they screamed, before calming their heart rates and waiting. Pupils dilated and waiting…