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ATLANTA, GA – Just when the situation couldn’t get any more dire for health care professionals on the front line, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) reports the supply of ICD-10 codes for COVID-19 are running “dangerously low.”

“Forget about the N95 respirators, surgical masks, and ventilators, we are desperately short on ICD-10 codes, we need them quickly and we need them now!” said emergency medicine physician Dr. Siddhant Patel. “How else can we properly care for these patients?!”

Health care professionals have to make numerous quick decisions in real-time every single day. With the number of suspected coronavirus cases already piling up, they cannot be put in a handcuffed position of rationing their ICD-10 codes.

“Why should I be coding for ‘Other viral pneumonia’ J12.89 and ‘Other coronavirus as the cause of diseases classified elsewhere’ B97.29 when what we desperately need is ‘Pneumonia due to COVID-19‘?” Patel told Gomerblog, visibly frustrated. “We’ve been asked to reuse codes because we’re so short. I’ve been reusing J12.89 and B97.29 all week. We need more ICD-10 codes!”

Gomerblog reports that 47 of 50 states have activated the National Guard to aid in this billing crisis.

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.