TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an effort to appropriately inform patients and staff with whom they’ll be working, an internal medicine physician has placed STUDENT DRIVER stickers on all of his July interns.

“When you’re driving and you see a car with a STUDENT DRIVER sticker, who doesn’t give them the benefit of the doubt,” explained Assistant Professor for Hospital Medicine Dr. David Foresight, as he places a sticker on the back of one of his intern’s white coats. “It tells other health care professionals and families: Look he or she is a newbie, so be nice but also please be on the lookout.”

For now, Foresight has placed the stickers on the back of his July interns’ white coats but he admits he hasn’t exactly determined where is the optimal location to place them.

“As a driver, the stickers are usually on the back of the car, since it can at least warn the driver behind you. With that reasoning, I think it might be ideal to put the STUDENT DRIVER sticker on the intern’s forehead, but that might be a bit rude. Maybe across the neck, or at least across the front of the white coat. What do you think?”

The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) has taken note of Foresight’s actions, and is immediately ordering for the bulk printing and distribution of STUDENT DRIVER stickers to all attendings in health care facilities so that they can also follow suit. The ACGME also recommends placing the same stickers on all students.

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.