chest anatomy

Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First

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CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.”  When the EKG tech obtained the print out, she rushed it to the physician knowing full well this was bad.

ST in chest pain
“Look at that Ectopoopy!”

Dr. Fry called over a medical student and asked if he could spot what was occurring.  “I call that ectopoopy,” the sassy medical student responded.  “A rhythm that makes me poop my pants!” referring to the ST elevation, a clear indication of a myocardial infarction.

After the patient received heparin and nitroglycerin, he was feeling “much better.”  Don told the staff, “Great guys, thanks for your help.  I gotta go.”

Upon hearing this Dr. Fry almost had a heart attack.  “Sir, we have to bring you to the cath lab immediately!  You could die.”

“Listen, I hear what you are saying but try to understand my point of view.  I had plans today; I have to get some things taken care of and have already wasted 3 hours here.  I’ll be back later tonight, promise.”

Again pleas were made to keep him there to prolong his life and not to cause annoyance.

“My life is over if I don’t make this payment, I wouldn’t call it living if you have a terrible credit score.  Plus I have a turkey in the oven that I have to take out to baste.  Nobody wants to eat a dry turkey, ya know.”

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    Maybe the media will believe it like the story of North Korea’s #hungrydogexecution.

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