troponin leak
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NEW YORK, NY – Have you ever groaned because someone checked a troponin on a patient without chest pain or shortness of breath and, of course, it was elevated?  A new study in the New England Journal of Troponins (NEJT) revealed that 99% of health care practitioners are walking around with some kind of troponin leak, further supporting that pretty much anything can cause it.

troponin leak“Our healthcare practitioners have some pretty wonky troponins from work alone,” said lead researcher and cardiologist Catherine Hart.  “I’m pretty sure I have a mild troponin leak when I get a consulted about a mild troponin leak.”  She did; it was 0.11.

In the NEJT study, researchers checked troponins on health care practitioners at multiple points during their work day.  Dehydration, forgetting to eat or pee, drinking coffee, having a bowel movement, hearing a request for Dilaudid, and hearing a pain score greater than 10 were common reasons for a health care practitioner to develop a leak.

“In fact, we found that a patient’s pain score divided by 100 equals their health care practitioner’s troponin level,” commented Hart, whose troponin was now 0.08.

The pager was the number one cause of troponin leaks, as well as seizures, migraines, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), in health care practitioners who carried them.  Medical students saw high troponins due to pimping.  Radiologists, microbiologists, and nocturnists developed troponin elevations in response to sunlight.

Endless documentation is another common cause of leaks.

“For those with electronic health records, staring at a computer bumps your troponin, typing bumps your troponin, and double-clicking bumps your troponin,” added Hart, whose troponin is now 0.07.  “For those with paper charts, handwriting causes troponin leaks, paper cuts cause troponin leaks, and putting the chart back in the cubby causes a troponin leak.”

Despite these study findings, Hart still cautions that there is always a time and a place when it is appropriate to check troponins.

“Of course, a classic chest pain story is one scenario,” explained Hart, who is now NPO for a stress test in the morning.  “The other scenario relates to our hardworking health care personnel in the trenches.  If that book of delivery menus goes missing, check an ECG and check a troponin right away!  TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!”

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  • Gail Krings

    I’m sure it will be elevated!!

  • Gail Krings

    I’m sure it will be elevated!!

  • Tim Badrick

    Lindsay Andy

  • Tim Badrick

    Lindsay Andy

  • Jamie Schill

    Gail , think ours will be elevated after this full moon weekend?

  • Jamie Schill

    Gail , think ours will be elevated after this full moon weekend?

  • Tonya Rozen

    Hey, I’ve had so many heart attacks at work that I probably function on collaterals by now!

  • Tonya Rozen

    Hey, I’ve had so many heart attacks at work that I probably function on collaterals by now!

  • Chase Buehler

    Don’t forget the verbal read back

  • Chase Buehler

    Don’t forget the verbal read back

  • Patty Travels

    Finding out I have the open bed- instant leak!

  • Patty Travels

    Finding out I have the open bed- instant leak!

  • Helen Aanstoos

    Dr Oz causes full bore gushes.

  • Helen Aanstoos

    Dr Oz causes full bore gushes.

  • Terra Renee

    True story: Got a call from lab about a “critical” troponin of 0.03, followed by another call 60 seconds later informing me that the confirmation test read the level at 0.02, so I could disregard the prior “critical” result. There’s my 10/10 ass pain: responding to these phone calls for “critical” troponin results.

  • Terra Renee

    True story: Got a call from lab about a “critical” troponin of 0.03, followed by another call 60 seconds later informing me that the confirmation test read the level at 0.02, so I could disregard the prior “critical” result. There’s my 10/10 ass pain: responding to these phone calls for “critical” troponin results.

  • Kelly Doty

    Kevin

  • Kelly Doty

    Kevin

  • JamieandSam Spatz

    I bet I go into A. Flutter atleast once a shift

  • JamieandSam Spatz

    I bet I go into A. Flutter atleast once a shift

  • Dave Schwabacher

    What about causing one’s aneurysm to throb? When a surgeon tells me that they’ve been using the henweigh every day for the last 15 years and why isn’t it on the field, it makes my aneurysm grow a tiny bit more and throb.

  • Dave Schwabacher

    What about causing one’s aneurysm to throb? When a surgeon tells me that they’ve been using the henweigh every day for the last 15 years and why isn’t it on the field, it makes my aneurysm grow a tiny bit more and throb.

  • Jessica Jernberg

    Kris Simon Katie Torrance

  • Jessica Jernberg

    Kris Simon Katie Torrance

  • Stephen L. Sigal

    Sad, but true.

  • Stephen L. Sigal

    Sad, but true.

  • Sarah Brown

    Brandon – satire site but funny.

  • Sarah Brown

    Brandon – satire site but funny.

  • Ellen Ezell

    Do depends work for trop leaks too Kelley Hughes Reep

  • Nate Schneider

    Gina Risty, Billie Jo Grieve

  • Vadim Korkhov

    The number of people who make a big deal of a troponin of 0.01 is too damn high!

  • Alicia D. Fagan

    I get ten out of ten ass pain.

  • Kelley Hughes Reep

    Talk to your doctor if you suffer from troponin leaks in embarrassing situations.

  • Lisa Barber

    Or at least slight poop leaks!!

  • Christi Wise Knapp

    Definitely the pager! Pretty sure I get a little twinge of chest pain on that one, too.

  • Rocco Arcieri

    Oddly, most hospital and insurance executives are incapable of Troponin leak

  • Maria Lisa

    Hahahahah

  • Susan Jo

    Eric Johnson –hourly

  • Natalie Goforth

    Please I wpuld be a stemi

  • Eric Johnson

    Susan Jo this explains it all

  • Melva Bosquez-Pena

    A must!!

  • Valeska Balderas-Hayungs

    I must , at least twice per day Melva Bosquez-Pena

  • Shelley Lynn Strauss- Gallagher

    Word!

  • Ivan Scroggins

    Is that anything like a gas leak ..

  • Natarssha Ryland

    Tara Grady

  • Joni Barrow

    Stephen L. Sigal thought you might enjoy this one!

  • Nicole Meyer Papermaster

    Maria Lisa Bahahaha!!!

  • Chananya Goldman

    Truth

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13.5K Shares