Tips: How to Be the Coolest Doctor on the Block

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Over the past few months at GomerBlog, we’ve received thousands upon thousands of letters from doctors all over the world asking us how they can improve their image and become the coolest doctor on the block.  Well fret no more!   Follow these few simple tips and rest assured you’ll be the most popular doctor in your healthcare system!

tips for doctors
Orthopedic surgeons love to round with me!

Wear a fanny pack and wear it OVER your white coat.

Nothing screams style, chic, and whimsy like wearing an oversized fanny pack, let alone wearing one over your white coat.  This will tell your colleagues, patients, and friends, “I’m not a one trick pony with just a stethoscope, no sirree bob!”  Show them you’re a jack-of-all-trades.  What should I put in my fanny pack? you might be asking.  Read on Dr. Fashionable, we’ll tell you!

Always carry a spackle knife.

Nothing will impress your colleagues more than following-up patient care and good bedside manner with the ability to patch and repair small cracks, holes, and any other defects in drywall or plaster.  Don’t forget to choose the correct spackle and knife before proceeding.  Definitely make sure that the spackle is flush.  Sandpaper it down before priming and painting and voila!  Can you feel yourself oozing with cool?  You’re like the Fonz but in a white coat!  EYYYY!!!

Nothing screams cool like a box beam level.

Sometimes, you’re not exactly sure if a patient is at 45 degrees to perform a hepatojugular reflex or that a hip angle is 90 degrees to perform a Kernig’s sign.  Or maybe that Wong-Baker FACES Pain Scale in the examination room is slightly crooked.  Not to worry, doc!  A box beam level instantaneously boosts your image, straightens those angles, and will turn you into a rock star.  Just be sure to wash your box beam level every once in a while.  Catching C. difficile?  That’s so uncool!

Move back home with your parents.

Nothing commands more respect and admiration than saying, “I love my parents so much that I still live with them!”  It speaks to your commitment to family and frugality.  And if you really want to hammer the point home?  Refer to them as Mommy and Daddy and do it often.  If that doesn’t earn you the utmost respect, we don’t know what will!

When wearing scrubs, make sure the tops and bottoms don’t match.

Green scrub tops plus green scrub pants?  YAWN.  Blue scrub tops and blue scrub pants?  BORING!  Matching scrubs makes you seem conservative, dull, and predictable.  Who wants that out of their doctor?  But put on black scrub tops with pink scrub pants?  Now we’re talking!  You’re cooler than cool; you’re ice cold!  Even before you’ve introduced yourself, colleagues and patients will already know, “Hey, that’s Dr. Badass, and that’s someone I can trust.”

Dr. 99 is pretty cool, but not as cool as YOU’RE going to be after you apply these simple tips.  Disclaimer: GomerBlog is not responsible for any hardships you may encounter with your new level of coolness, popularity, and fame.

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  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Misty Dawn

    You are sooooooo my coolest co worker ;) ;)

  • Avatar
    Eliza Ajero Granflor

    LOL! Okay the spackle makes no sense but they have a point with the leveler. I feel flattered, I must be your coolest coworker huh?

  • Avatar
    Walter Sartor

    Probably not!

  • Avatar
    Jon Suki

    LX Rhee

  • Avatar
    Meera Gandhi

    Kelsey Hines best thing I’ve seen!!!!! Thank you for sharing and thinking of me! Fanny packs are just about the best inventions, ever.

  • Avatar
    Kelsey Hines

    Breadcrumbs … Also, Meera Gandhi :)

  • Avatar
    Rick Balfour

    Lynda Balfour

  • Avatar
    Jenna Strother

    Rachel Roberts …

  • Avatar
    Maija Mauch

    You’re gonna look like a nurse wannabe! Mix n match scrubs- where’ve you been? And we practically have our own versions of a swiss knife thing in OUR fanny packs . But yeah it could be cool

  • Avatar
    Angela Venuto

    Hahahaha

  • Avatar
    Kimberly Johnson Estes

    I could pull that off

  • Avatar
    Lori Lott Wroten

    Kimberly Johnson Estes

  • Avatar
    Brooke Ainsley

    Oh man, if only my doc didn’t already wear a fanny pack 24/7!! To keep his pipe in.

  • Avatar
    Terri Keagy Hartman

    Hahahahaha

  • Avatar
    Carolyn Day

    I am cool:)

  • Avatar
    Kat Kinseth

    Colby Giudicessi weren’t we talking about this?

  • Avatar
    Helena Judge Ellis

    Your birthday is coming up….

  • Avatar
    Keith Chrisman

    One of the coolest docs I’ve seen wears a flannel t shirt over his scrubs and a fanny pack!

  • Avatar
    Wendy Borgersen

    Derrick Pelton

  • Avatar
    Erin Quist

    If my doctor entered the room wearing a fanny pack, I think I would have to leave. Be honest- what would you do?

  • Avatar
    Riley Hill

    Kirby Von Edwins

  • Avatar
    Katie Severance Volkers

    It’s a batman utility belt!

  • Avatar
    Lori Leonhardt

    Brooke Billingsley just so you know, i had to wear a fanny back as a medical student and resident in the Dominican Republic! This is a real thing!

  • Avatar
    Brooke Billingsley

    Lori Leonhardt

  • Avatar
    Misty Dawn

    Eliza Ajero Granflor

  • Avatar
    Jill Soroka Gore

    I’d like to see the studies that show a direct correlation between size of fanny pack and patient rating of coolness while showing an indirect relationship of this to patient complaints. Get on it, Press Ganey!

  • Avatar
    Janice Daigle

    No, no, no. I don’t want my Doctor looking like the janitor! Have you seen anything interesting lately?

  • Avatar
    Donald Gorectke

    We have the coolest Doc at our cottage in northern Wi. Made of treated wood and metal frame.

  • Avatar
    Seth Miller

    Just wear a lab coat. As long as you have a lab coat people will think your a doctor.

  • Avatar
    Sarah McGee

    I’m so getting the Docs this for doctors week!!!!!

  • Avatar
    Jayme Ray Lovvorn

    Surgeons keeping marking pens in fanny packs; surgery admitting nurses thrilled to finish charting uninterrupted!

  • Avatar
    Mónica Lladó Farrulla

    Hahahahhah!! I heard you might potentially be a convert, Insun Chong!! Welcome to the dark but fun side!!!

  • Avatar
    Lora Ann Cullipher

    Walter Sartor, Martin DeGravelle Some style tips for you guys!

  • Avatar
    Insun Chong

    Whatever. Imma #YOLO so hard.

  • Avatar
    Will Daigle

    I’m glad you already saw this, Insun.

  • Avatar
    Jessica Duffy

    Def follow this page, brings smiles!

  • Avatar
    Jessica Vanderham

    Omg so not wearing a fanny pack lok

  • Avatar
    Gia Tronvold

    Genius!

  • Avatar
    Jason Hymas

    Steven Lofgran – let’s do this.

  • Avatar
    Heather Cheek Daniel

    Haha I may could talk them into it!

  • Avatar
    April Kyle Pettyjohn

    Definitely! ! Lol

  • Avatar
    Casey Roberson Shaver

    Heather Cheek Daniel , April Kyle Pettyjohn, and Christie Bice Burgess hey ladies I think your doctors should start this trend in our area. Hahah!!

  • Avatar
    Jessica Duffy

    Jessica Vanderham Hayli Nicole Gray Gia Tronvold this is the satirical medical page I was talking about the other day! It’s soooo funny, Jess apply this to your CNP practice someday :) lol!

  • Avatar
    Danielle Oberholtzer

    Dani Boice!!!!!! Bahahah

  • Avatar
    Insun Chong

    Mónica, this will be me in July at ILH when I’m doing my sub-i… :(

  • Avatar
    Angie Flesher

    Oh I shall begin recommending this immediately!

  • Avatar
    Joanie Sapienza

    Baahahhahaha hahahhahahahahahahhaa! I

  • Avatar
    Paula Bevers

    Neurologist

  • Avatar
    Roxanna Aldstadt

    Anna Bordelon Hankins and Jeff Goza this will complete your white coat look!

  • Avatar
    Sam Spalding

    Madolyn VP this would be you

  • Avatar
    Kendra Holm

    Chris Chen

  • Avatar
    Diane Bockelman

    Cool!

  • Avatar
    Kristin Moudry

    Victoria Strickland Junkin Cassie Raney Clark Leah Oswalt

  • Avatar
    Guerrero Laura

    ‘Heeeeey!’ …lol!! LOVE IT!!

  • Avatar
    Amber McIntosh Pachon

    Cory Lieberman Sotelo!!!

  • Avatar
    Angela Rini Wilson

    Doc, we need spackle, stat!

  • Avatar
    Mark J. Harris

    So I just came back from Peru where fanny packs are *in*. All the doctors in the hospital wear them.

  • Avatar
    Wesley Arnett

    See Leslie Estelle. Told ya

  • Avatar
    Robert Avram

    He’s the coolest doc in town and he has no fanny pack! Lior Bibas

  • Avatar
    Helen Vee

    Graeme Rich and John Wood…this may help you get married ;)

  • Avatar
    Ed Iway

    Edi Berbic

  • Avatar
    Ed Iway

    Ewww

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