Over the past few months at GomerBlog, we’ve received thousands upon thousands of letters from doctors all over the world asking us how they can improve their image and become the coolest doctor on the block. Well fret no more! Follow these few simple tips and rest assured you’ll be the most popular doctor in your healthcare system!
Wear a fanny pack and wear it OVER your white coat.
Nothing screams style, chic, and whimsy like wearing an oversized fanny pack, let alone wearing one over your white coat. This will tell your colleagues, patients, and friends, “I’m not a one trick pony with just a stethoscope, no sirree bob!” Show them you’re a jack-of-all-trades. What should I put in my fanny pack? you might be asking. Read on Dr. Fashionable, we’ll tell you!
Always carry a spackle knife.
Nothing will impress your colleagues more than following-up patient care and good bedside manner with the ability to patch and repair small cracks, holes, and any other defects in drywall or plaster. Don’t forget to choose the correct spackle and knife before proceeding. Definitely make sure that the spackle is flush. Sandpaper it down before priming and painting and voila! Can you feel yourself oozing with cool? You’re like the Fonz but in a white coat! EYYYY!!!
Nothing screams cool like a box beam level.
Sometimes, you’re not exactly sure if a patient is at 45 degrees to perform a hepatojugular reflex or that a hip angle is 90 degrees to perform a Kernig’s sign. Or maybe that Wong-Baker FACES Pain Scale in the examination room is slightly crooked. Not to worry, doc! A box beam level instantaneously boosts your image, straightens those angles, and will turn you into a rock star. Just be sure to wash your box beam level every once in a while. Catching C. difficile? That’s so uncool!
Move back home with your parents.
Nothing commands more respect and admiration than saying, “I love my parents so much that I still live with them!” It speaks to your commitment to family and frugality. And if you really want to hammer the point home? Refer to them as Mommy and Daddy and do it often. If that doesn’t earn you the utmost respect, we don’t know what will!
When wearing scrubs, make sure the tops and bottoms don’t match.
Green scrub tops plus green scrub pants? YAWN. Blue scrub tops and blue scrub pants? BORING! Matching scrubs makes you seem conservative, dull, and predictable. Who wants that out of their doctor? But put on black scrub tops with pink scrub pants? Now we’re talking! You’re cooler than cool; you’re ice cold! Even before you’ve introduced yourself, colleagues and patients will already know, “Hey, that’s Dr. Badass, and that’s someone I can trust.”
Dr. 99 is pretty cool, but not as cool as YOU’RE going to be after you apply these simple tips. Disclaimer: GomerBlog is not responsible for any hardships you may encounter with your new level of coolness, popularity, and fame.