davinci robot

Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich

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CLEVELAND, OH – After finishing up his cases for the day, an oncological surgeon brought sandwich supplies with him to a vacant operating room and began setting up a sterile field.  “I’ve always wanted to do this,” said the veteran surgeon as he positioned the 4 arm $1.5 million piece of machinery over 2 pieces of whole grain bread, 4 slices of Virginia ham, 2 pieces of provolone cheese, 2 fresh tomato slices, several pieces of lettuce, and a container of Grey Poupon mustard.

davinci robot
“The perfect sandwich..crafted in a simple 8 hours”

As he sat at the da Vinci control station and admired the three-dimensional view of his ingredients, he began to drool, carelessly allowing saliva to drip onto his scrubs.  “11 hours since I’ve eaten anything, but this’ll make up for it,” he muttered to himself as he excitedly began assembling his sandwich with a robotic instrument system that represents the pinnacle of modern surgical technology.

“Right from the get go I knew the da Vinci’s minimally invasive approach had clear applications for sandwich construction.  I wasn’t surprised to read that the technique was eventually shown to be correlated with increases in post prandial consumer satisfaction as well as improved long term digestive outcomes.”

With two da Vinci arms, he precisely stacked the ham, cheese, lettuce, and tomato slices on one whole grain bread slice before using the other two arms to handle the Poupon container and a scalpel to spread its contents evenly over the second bread slice.

“Now for the best part,” the surgeon said, as he manipulated the cauterizer so as to divide the three-dimensional square sandwich image into two irresistible triangular halves.  “The only drawback is not being able to use the da Vinci to actually eat the sandwich.  Well that and the fact that this took me eight times as long as the traditional method, but at least I had fun.”

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  • Avatar
    Christine Thomson

    Jordan Lindley

  • Avatar
    Kelly Wright

    I hate that it takes 8 and 12 mm ports to make my sandwich instead of 5

  • Avatar
    Jamie Rosengren Stowe

    I wonder how many lap. Site the sandwich will have?!

  • Avatar
    Robyn Beasy

    I’m glad they are only using the training instruments for this exercise and not the costly ones…

  • Avatar
    Joe Davey

    That will $1.3M for the sandwich, please.

  • Avatar
    Daren Bobo Brooks

    awesome

  • Avatar
    Liliana Padilla-Williams

    That response is awesome!!!!

  • Avatar
    Beth Hughes Ross

    You could even morselate it as a time saver for chewing

  • Avatar
    Constance Graham Snell

    And the cost of the ham sandwich only $950,000. But don’t worry-insurance will pay 70% of it.

  • Avatar
    Valeria Barriuso Simon

    All I can think of is the scene from office space where they smash the printer. Arm#2, I do not miss you.

  • Avatar
    Jen Morgan

    Jessica Hardesty, Valeria Barriuso Simon, Emily Gottlieb, Beth Ann, Doug Weber

  • Avatar
    Adam Chandler

    W. Bruce Lowry

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth Bacon Meadows-Kile

    How do you manage to get patients who don’t have that winning trifecta?

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth Bacon Meadows-Kile

    How do you manage to get patients who don’t have that winning trifecta?

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth Bacon Meadows-Kile

    How do you manage to get patients who don’t have that winning trifecta?

  • Avatar
    Elizabeth Bacon Meadows-Kile

    How do you manage to get patients who don’t have that winning trifecta?

  • Avatar
    Patricia Larry Thatcher Best

    bill it to medicare

  • Avatar
    Ilona Parks

    Agreed. Some patients (morbidly obese, COPDers, pumonary HTN) do not tolerate sitting on their head for 6 hrs.

  • Avatar
    Annette Augustine

    Hahaha!!! Jessica Horton, Roxana Johnson!

  • Avatar
    Paul Ennis

    Yes!

    Sent via the Samsung Galaxy Note® 3, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

  • Avatar
    Crystal Robertson

    Paul Ennis I have a secret desire to play with a da Vinci Robot when no one is looking.

  • Avatar
    Greg Templeman

    these things are being sued by a class action lawsuit., seen it on the TV

  • Avatar
    Tressa Rappold

    Becky Bayless Rappold show Ja. ;)

  • Avatar
    Kristin Funk-Neubauer

    So what you’re saying is, you won’t be using it to make me a BLT next time I visit? ;-)

  • Avatar
    Anita Mohan Saha

    Kevin Holcomb heh heh

  • Avatar
    Carissa Tiss McMurrich

    Karina Glass now I want one of our toasted sandwiches :(

  • Avatar
    Mary Wehmeier

    It’s when it forgets the mustard and pickle— It goes into the blue screen of death.

  • Avatar
    Shinyoung Kim

    <Martino Vigano try this next time!

  • Avatar
    Cathy Quail McBride

    I love the DaVinci-not only does the surgery take twice as long, but the surgeon muttering under his breath at you is now across the room!

  • Avatar
    NM Hanley

    True…….

  • Avatar
    Carmen Louise Hopkins

    Wow! What a gadget.

  • Avatar
    Mickey Adams

    It does take forever.

  • Avatar
    Kate O’Rourke

    Lol

  • Avatar
    Karen Nishida

    I agree with a previous poster… I think I would get so hungry I would have to convert to an open sandwich.

  • Avatar
    Alina Ghani

    I have a new inspiration to make biryani this way one day:P

  • Avatar
    Zoe Haruyama

    Karen Nishida but can you do THIS?

  • Avatar
    Joe Deka

    A good robotic surgeon will make you the best damn sandwich you ever tasted

  • Avatar
    Monica Tran

    Hahaha! Carlo, remember when I joked that the da Vinci could be used to carve turkeys?

    Can we do a time out prior to making the sandwich? Are we verifying allergies to gluten?

  • Avatar
    Julien Turgeon

    D/C avec mayo prn 10 sachet de 1 ml NR

  • Avatar
    Crystal Rae Coddington

    When the Xi gets delivered next week, I’m going to make a 6′ long sub, without re-docking.

  • Avatar
    Crystal Rae Coddington

    Sophia Benson-Low You’ll have to show this to Rick! LOL

  • Avatar
    Ebenezer Bleezer

    If I ever have to choose, I’ll take a live ‘vinci

  • Avatar
    Michel Ménassa

    Première bouchée bien tolérée

  • Avatar
    Michel Ménassa

    Perte de moutarde minime

  • Avatar
    Robert Potyrala

    During one attempt, I had to convert to an open faced sandwich.

  • Avatar
    Xavier Paré

    Jambon symétrique tranche de pain bien orienté

  • Avatar
    Michel Ménassa

    Beau geste

  • Avatar
    Xavier Paré

    Michel Ménassa

  • Avatar
    Aldo Briganti

    SUNNYVALE, Calif. — (Mealey’s) Intuitive Surgical Inc. on April 8 announced that it has taken a $67 million charge against 2014 earnings to settle an unspecified number of product liability claims involving the company’s da Vinci surgical robot. In a press release, Intuitive said the $67 million is the estimated cost of settling claims alleging complications from surgeries performed with certain versions of the Monopolar Curved Scissors (MCS) instruments that were recalled in 2013 and with a first-generation MCS tip cover that was withdrawn in 2012. It said the estimated settlement amounts apply to legal claims that were tolled, the oldest of which dates back to October 2012.

  • Avatar
    Xavier Paré

    Julien Turgeon

  • Avatar
    Meghan Fuentes Lai

    Nicholas LaGamma

  • Avatar
    JT Funk

    It’s the truth. Urologists are using it for vasectomy reversal. What a waste of time….

  • Avatar
    Ariel Arieariara

    Michael Trevisonno

  • Avatar
    Ariel Arieariara

    Michael Trevisonno

  • Avatar
    Lanette Staiff

    Don’t let Food and Nutrition in on the secret… They won’t like the competition for fast food service…

  • Avatar
    Lanette Staiff

    Don’t let Food and Nutrition in on the secret… They won’t like the competition for fast food service…

  • Avatar
    Joanie Sapienza

    Bahahahhahahahaahha!

  • Avatar
    Joanie Sapienza

    Bahahahhahahahaahha!

  • Avatar
    Brandi Hicks

    Dead

  • Avatar
    Brandi Hicks

    Dead

  • Avatar
    Patrick Joseph Kenney

    After 10 cases, I can now make my sandwich in 1 hour and 15 minutes. It’s all about the learning curve.

  • Avatar
    Patrick Joseph Kenney

    After 10 cases, I can now make my sandwich in 1 hour and 15 minutes. It’s all about the learning curve.

  • Avatar
    Gary Gadd

    I think we should slowly introduce robots into surgery. Start them with something simple…like circumcisions or hemorhoids.

  • Avatar
    Gary Gadd

    I think we should slowly introduce robots into surgery. Start them with something simple…like circumcisions or hemorhoids.

  • Avatar
    Joshua Pierpont

    Oh please tell me someone actually made a sandwich with a da Vinci

  • Avatar
    Joshua Pierpont

    Oh please tell me someone actually made a sandwich with a da Vinci

  • Avatar
    Vanessa Cameron

    As a robotic surgeon I must say the robot is an amazing tool for the right candidate and has saved many pts a potential TAH. It is only as good as the surgeon behind it though. Or sandwich artist

  • Avatar
    Vanessa Cameron

    As a robotic surgeon I must say the robot is an amazing tool for the right candidate and has saved many pts a potential TAH. It is only as good as the surgeon behind it though. Or sandwich artist

  • Avatar
    Kristin Funk-Neubauer

    JT Funk

  • Avatar
    Kristin Funk-Neubauer

    JT Funk

  • Avatar
    Justine Colette Foret

    Jennifer Pitre

  • Avatar
    Justine Colette Foret

    Jennifer Pitre

  • Avatar
    Kyle Dietz

    Toni Ventrilla

  • Avatar
    Kyle Dietz

    Toni Ventrilla

  • Avatar
    Dean Linder Jr

    I’m still waiting for the Skynet apocalypse when ours becomes self aware and grabs a scalpel…

  • Avatar
    Dean Linder Jr

    I’m still waiting for the Skynet apocalypse when ours becomes self aware and grabs a scalpel…

  • Avatar
    Charles Baudellio

    Once i have mey my goal and become a PA, i will hate this robot

  • Avatar
    Charles Baudellio

    Once i have mey my goal and become a PA, i will hate this robot

  • Avatar
    Larry L. Patrick

    Good thing he didn’t have to do an Epic encounter … Would have taken even longer!

  • Avatar
    Larry L. Patrick

    Good thing he didn’t have to do an Epic encounter … Would have taken even longer!

  • Avatar
    Eric Wright

    When I worked in Sarasota Fl, several of the Gyn docs stopped offering it as an option because it was not worth the time to them in relation to what they were paid for the procedure. They could do 3 lavh in the same time.

  • Avatar
    Eric Wright

    When I worked in Sarasota Fl, several of the Gyn docs stopped offering it as an option because it was not worth the time to them in relation to what they were paid for the procedure. They could do 3 lavh in the same time.

  • Avatar
    Joan Roberts Stamp

    Dr. Michael Geffin

  • Avatar
    Joan Roberts Stamp

    Michael Geffin

  • Avatar
    Paul Ennis

    Stephen Smith
    Michael Davison
    Larry L. Patrick
    Robert Wyatt
    Burt Smith
    Crystal Robertson
    Ron Snelling
    Paul Richardson
    I’m totally buying the 8 X as long!

  • Avatar
    Karin Cartwright

    They get paid by the hour, right? :D

  • Avatar
    Skeptical Scalpel

    MT @jdimick1 : Surgeon Uses da Vinci Robot to Craft the Perfect Ham and Cheese Sandwich – http://t.co/nucwCAkimp

  • Avatar
    Gina Lowry

    Its ridiculous, I would never have one done!!!

  • Avatar
    Angela Pippins

    Mandy Douglas Eaton Robin Deshong-Darden

  • Avatar
    Claressa Joy

    Martin Aguilar

  • Avatar
    Ashley Redinger

    Adam Bykowski

  • Avatar
    Christopher Lynch

    Gregory Pittman

  • Avatar
    Marvi Bikak

    Alina Ghani

  • Avatar
    Tracey Sunde

    I remember when we first got our’s and the 6 hour hysterectomies

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