medical SOAP note

Internist Creates Last Written SOAP Note: A Masterpiece for the Ages

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medical SOAP note

STONY BROOK, NY – On the eve of the Good Samaritan Hospital’s final conversion to an all electronic medical record, local internal medicine legend, Dr. Jefferson Williams IV, decided to treat everyone by delivering one final masterpiece note.

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Pictured: Dr. Jefferson Williams IV proud of medicine’s greatest accomplishment

This wonder of medical documentation was one for the ages.  It contained 6 different fish bones, 4 navigation arrows, as well as a Venn diagram.  The timeless miracle featured writing at 5 distinct inclination angles as well as upside down.  Also depicted, were 2 algorithms, a pencil sketch reproduction of a head CT scan, and a verbographical depiction of a physical exam (VeG-P, a term coined by Dr. Williams himself).  The presence of a rainbow and a pot of gold is yet to be deciphered.

The document drew from Dr. Williams’ training, dating back when SOAP notes were chiseled on stone tablets.  It highlighted his understanding of internal medicine, nephrology, neurology, rheumatology, phrenology, preventative medicine, general surgery, astrophysics, the occult sciences, and even something called “Urban Studies.”

In an exclusive interview with GomerBlog, Dr. Williams lamented the ongoing contest between software makers to create the most confusing and labor intensive EMR that require 24 clicks to order aspirin.  He was frustrated, navigating a Cerner window with up/down keys.  “My best progress notes were written on papyrus scrolls with squid ink.  Back in my day the pathologist heralded a malignancy with smoke signals and the radiologist would squawk chest fluorotube readouts in Morse code,” fumed the old timer as he was searching for X-ray view box in a room with 4 digital screens.  “You will never be able to deliver a comprehensive note using using this abomination.  The chart will be back!!!”

Practitioners from all over the hospital came to wonder at his last marvel.  Orthopedist Axe Sawington was especially interested in the work, himself on an eternal quest for medical documentation excellence.

Sources close to GomerBlog state The Smithsonian, The Library of Congress, and the Medical Documentation Museum & Hall of Fame in Decatur, Alabama, were assembling a team to acquire this historic medical chart relic for their collections.  Other sources claim they saw the note ascending into heaven.

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  • Livin La Vida Locum MD

    Livin La Vida Locum MD chose the most rewarding of all medical specialties and became a hospitalist. Wanting to contribute even more to the medical community, he trialed his hand at clinical research, but quickly realized that peer reviewed articles, R2,, and Odds Ratios will never top the impact of thorough healthcare reporting. So he dedicated his life to delivering the finest, deepest and broadest medical news from around the country. He accomplishes this monumental task by accepting locum assignments all over the country; in towns, villages and “hospitals” you never heard of and will never visit. May all fans of medical satire benefit from his wandering.

  • Show Comments

  • Avatar
    Alan J Pollock

    When using the trauma macro for a minor injury, just remember to delete the rectal and genital exams :/

  • Avatar
    Susan Bartmon

    Heh. My ehr is so useless that i put everything someone following me might need into the classic nursing note. Can’t otherwise be found n

  • Avatar
    Derek Seib

    want to see it as
    would have made this truly epic

  • Avatar
    Mike Jay

    Brandon Yim Stonybrook in the house!

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