Asian doctor

Internist Creates Last Written SOAP Note: A Masterpiece for the Ages

  • 626
    Shares

medical SOAP note

STONY BROOK, NY – On the eve of the Good Samaritan Hospital’s final conversion to an all electronic medical record, local internal medicine legend, Dr. Jefferson Williams IV, decided to treat everyone by delivering one final masterpiece note.

17501000_m
Pictured: Dr. Jefferson Williams IV proud of medicine’s greatest accomplishment

This wonder of medical documentation was one for the ages.  It contained 6 different fish bones, 4 navigation arrows, as well as a Venn diagram.  The timeless miracle featured writing at 5 distinct inclination angles as well as upside down.  Also depicted, were 2 algorithms, a pencil sketch reproduction of a head CT scan, and a verbographical depiction of a physical exam (VeG-P, a term coined by Dr. Williams himself).  The presence of a rainbow and a pot of gold is yet to be deciphered.

The document drew from Dr. Williams’ training, dating back when SOAP notes were chiseled on stone tablets.  It highlighted his understanding of internal medicine, nephrology, neurology, rheumatology, phrenology, preventative medicine, general surgery, astrophysics, the occult sciences, and even something called “Urban Studies.”

In an exclusive interview with GomerBlog, Dr. Williams lamented the ongoing contest between software makers to create the most confusing and labor intensive EMR that require 24 clicks to order aspirin.  He was frustrated, navigating a Cerner window with up/down keys.  “My best progress notes were written on papyrus scrolls with squid ink.  Back in my day the pathologist heralded a malignancy with smoke signals and the radiologist would squawk chest fluorotube readouts in Morse code,” fumed the old timer as he was searching for X-ray view box in a room with 4 digital screens.  “You will never be able to deliver a comprehensive note using using this abomination.  The chart will be back!!!”

Practitioners from all over the hospital came to wonder at his last marvel.  Orthopedist Axe Sawington was especially interested in the work, himself on an eternal quest for medical documentation excellence.

Sources close to GomerBlog state The Smithsonian, The Library of Congress, and the Medical Documentation Museum & Hall of Fame in Decatur, Alabama, were assembling a team to acquire this historic medical chart relic for their collections.  Other sources claim they saw the note ascending into heaven.

image_pdfimage_print
  • Show Comments

  • Alan J Pollock

    When using the trauma macro for a minor injury, just remember to delete the rectal and genital exams :/

  • Susan Bartmon

    Heh. My ehr is so useless that i put everything someone following me might need into the classic nursing note. Can’t otherwise be found n

  • Derek Seib

    want to see it as
    would have made this truly epic

  • Mike Jay

    Brandon Yim Stonybrook in the house!

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

forest for chart

Breaking: Entire Forest Needed to Print Out Patient’s Chart

381SharesWAKE FOREST, NC – When Bill McGillicuddy was finally discharged from Graves Memorial Hospital after ...

pelvic exam

Tele-GYNs Now Offering Virtual Pelvic Exams

653SharesGWINNETT, GA – OB/GYNs are the latest specialists to join the telemedicine craze in America, ...

Samsung Galaxy Pager fire

Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition

945SharesDURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her ...

Hospital Fortress Built to Deter Winter Surge in Patient Volume

543SharesBIRMINGHAM, AL – In an effort to withstand the imminent increase in patient volumes ...