paper airplane, paperwork

Stack of Paperwork Transforms into Fleet of Paper Planes

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CHICAGO, IL – Internist Jenny Richardson sat down at her clinic desk this morning to find an undesirable stack of paperwork (you know the kind) hiding her computer’s mouse and keyboard.  “Ick,” she said with a guttural sound not to be confused by anyone for joy.

paper planes, paperwork
“Let’s see how far this Press Ganey flies!”

“Normally, we hear moans and sighs from her office, but there was none of that this morning,” said nurse Craig Willoughby.  “Instead, I heard excitement.  I had to investigate.”  Willoughby found Richardson’s floor and cabinets covered in paper planes with a reciprocal shrinking of the papers on her desk.

“Wanna help me make some more airplanes?” Richardson asked Willoughby with child-like glee.  Thirty minutes later, the clinic was officially closed early for the day while the entire staff put on a contest to make the best paper airplanes.

“I’m not sure where that prior authorization form went, but man, did my airplane fly!” said receptionist John Jarvis.  “I bet it would’ve flown for another 30 feet if this office were a bit bigger.”

Though he made dozens upon dozens, Willoughby’s favorite and best airplane, one made from a work excuse form in just a mere 8 folds, has flown the furthest, all the way from the secretary’s desk to the entrance to room eight, the last in the long corridor.  “I’m telling you, work excuse forms are the way to go.  They cut through the air like a knife.”

Richardson was soaking in the joy in her office for once, paying no attention to the irate mob of patients outside.  “Do I think they’re upset because they don’t get to see their providers?” asked Richardson.  “No.  I think they’re jealous of the airplanes.”  She smiled though.  “Can’t let them partake,” as she showed us a DNR form.  “HIPAA.”

“Has anyone made an airplane with these stupid lab requisition forms yet?” asked Richardson to her colleagues, now knee-deep in a few hundred paper planes.  Everyone shook their head no, but their eyes glowed as if to say “Brilliant!”  She locked the fingers of hands and stretched them outward.  “John, order in some pizza and let’s work on these requisition planes.  This is gonna be a fun day!”

  • Dr. 99

    First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.

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