Pfizer box of medications

Pfizer Releases Box of Assorted Medications for Valentine’s Day

  • 1.5K
Pfizer box of medications
“Mama always said life is like a box of medications…”

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has announced plans to release a limited-edition box of assorted medications in time for Valentine’s Day.  The box consists of a wide variety of Pfizer’s most popular medications that are sure to make the sparks fly while simultaneously lowering your cholesterol.

Pfizer CEO Ian Read hopes the heart-shaped boxes of random pills help make Valentine’s Day special for thousands of lovestruck couples.  “What can I say, I’m a romantic,” announced Read, as he untied the red sash on his own box of meds.  “What better way to say I love you than providing your lover with a romantic package containing everything from broad-spectrum antibiotics to the latest antipsychotics.”

Each box contains a unique sampling of brand name medications from Pfizer’s immense pharmaceutical catalogue.  “Our boxes have Lipitor, Effexor, Zithromax, Norvasc, and many more,” stated Pfizer sales representative Donald Lucas.  “Your girlfriend will love taking antifungals one minute and antidepressants the next!  Feel free to open up a nice bottle of wine while the two of you indiscriminately consume a box of prescription medications.  Alcohol doubles the fun while also saturating your cytochrome P450 reserves!”

Pfizer has purposefully made each box without a key.  Early research into the product revealed that the vast majority of consumers would pick out all the oxycodone while leaving the other medications untouched.  “The random nature of the box introduces an element of surprise,” said Read as he picked a rectangular brown pill out of the container. “I think this one is Ativan,” he stated gleefully, quickly swallowing the pill.  “Nope, that was Flagyl.  You win some, you lose some.”

  • Dr. Glaucomflecken

    Following a successful career as a doctor impersonator, Dr. Glaucomflecken decided to attend a real, accredited medical school and residency program. Now he spends his time treating eyeballs, occasionally forgetting that they belong to an actual human body. Dr. Glaucomflecken specializes in knowing where to look when talking to somebody with a lazy eye. He started writing for GomerBlog after being told to “publish or perish.” Follow me on Twitter @DGlaucomflecken

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

mars essential oils

Mars Probe Discovers River of Essential Oils

500SharesWASHINGTON:  Surprising revelations keep coming from the red planet, as NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter ...


Med Students Not Actually Working, Just Looking at Porn

262SharesNEW YORK, NY – Though medical students Matthew Roberts, Erin Long, Lauren McCarty look ...

medical student

Intern Reads A Full UpToDate Article, Becomes Annoying Expert on the Subject

2.1KSharesKEARNEY, NE – Dr. Lacy Rash, a transitional dermatology intern at Kind Humanitarian Hospital ...

ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary

1.8KSharesSan Diego, CA– In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American ...

The Difference Between Arthropods & Orthopods

4.1KSharesToday, we help describe the similarities and differences between two interesting creatures: arthropods and ...