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NEW YORK, NY – In a moment of inspiration after he forced herself to brainstorm What would a pilot do?, internist Dr. Matt Thompson at Bellevue Hospital Center spoke with the hospital operator, who in turn asked overhead if there was a pilot anywhere aboard the immediate health care vicinity.

pilot cleared landing doctor hospital
“Wow, didn’t think we’d actually find one of you in a place like this”

“Attention, please, attention, please,” the operator announced in speakers through the entirely of Bellevue, “the doctor is asking if there is a pilot or any other aeronautic personnel in this hospital to please ring your call light and a nurse will come and find you immediately.  Thank you.”

Though only a few minutes have passed, no one in the Manhattan hospital has responded.

Sources closer to Gomerblog have identified several flight attendants, air traffic controllers, and student pilots in the hospital, but all are hesitant and honestly nervous about volunteering their assistance.  Thompson completely understands their predicament.

“Look, if we were on an airplane for a medical emergency,” explained Thompson, “you wouldn’t want an orthopedic surgeon or a medical student responding, now would you?  Heck I even get nervous when I have to respond.”

Thompson was about to ask the operator to make another announcement.  “Either we’ll offer free turkey sandwiches or we’ll pull a United and just beat everyone up left and right.”  Thankfully, much to Thompson’s excitement, Delta pilot Jack Wilson rang the call light and offered his assistance.

“I’m a pilot,” Wilson responded.  “What appears to be the problem?”

“We got a frequent flyer in the ER,” replied Thompson.  “I thought maybe a pilot like yourself could help navigate him to another hospital.”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.